Phantasy Star II: Heartrending

In my ongoing attempt to catch up on the overlooked RPG series, we revisit Phantasy Star II. Released a scant seven months after the Genesis’ launch, Phantasy Star II was hurried into development soon after the completion of the original Phantasy Star. Of course, this was back in the days where RPGs didn’t take five years to develop. Phantasy Star was one of the last games to hit SEGA’s Master System, and with newer, shinier technology at their grasp, Rieko Kodama & Co. decided to reach for the stars…

Ponyo: The Extra-Terrestrial

Do you know who Hayao Miyazaki is? If you’re reading this blog, you should. But just in case you wandered in here accidentally while trying to google lolcats, Here’s the skinny: Hayao Miyazaki is basically the Steven Spielberg of animation in Japan. He makes animated feature films with his production company, Studio Ghibli, and is considered a master at what he does. He’s responsible for such anime classics as Nausicaa, Princess Mononoke and the Oscar-winner Spirited Away, and Japan basically considers him a national treasure.

And I sometimes find it difficult to stand the guy.

Don’t get your feathers ruffled just yet. I adore most of his movies, such as Spirited Away, Howl’s Moving Castle, Porco Rosso, The Castle of Cagliostro and Kiki’s Delivery Service. It’s the other half I have trouble stomaching. I think Nausicaa is a pretty standard fantasy adventure starring one of the most insufferably optimistic heroines I’ve ever seen.  The character Nausicaa pisses sunshine and farts rainbows. I cant stand it! Castle in the Sky is basically the blueprint for every Japanese RPG ever made, so by the time I saw it, there wasn’t much new for me to glean from its picked-over bones. I don’t really enjoy Princess Mononoke’s setting or the fact that the ending doesn’t do any of the preceding 119 minutes any justice. In fact, it’s a huge problem with Miyazaki’s movies in general. They don’t end; they just stop. You’re lucky if you have even a few minutes of falling action after the climax. And then there’s probably my least favorite: My Neighbor Totoro. It’s a movie aimed at very young children, so I probably wasn’t the target audience when I saw it, but it’s still an aimless creature that tries to get by on cuteness and whimsy in lieu of having story or even the barest shred of conflict. I’m sure if I was a toddler I’d love it. I can’t ever say that Miyazaki’s movies are outright crap. They’re always beautifully, painstakingly animated. But I do occasionally have problems with what Miyazaki chooses to do with all his abundance of talent and resources.

And recently, Miyazaki’s latest yarn, the child-oriented Ponyo, washed up on our shores. Was this a hit or a miss?

Grump Haiku – Summer Edition

The Hurt Locker

The tension is thick,

a fearless lead character-

what’s Kate doing here?

–

X-men Origins: Wolverine

All I can say is,

“Adamantium Bullets!?

Just go fuck yourselves!”

–

Shatter

BreakOut meets shooter,

it’s a steal at twice the price;

buy this up right now!

–

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

Poor ideas made flesh,

its message is simplistic:

Buy more toys, shit kids~!

–

Red Faction: Guerrilla

Mars, barren and dead.

Don’t mind the terrorist themes;

just go smash some shit.

~Fin~

(500) Days of Summer: (500) Reasons This Is Baloney

I knew it. Exactly what I was afraid would happen has happened.

America, we’re under attack by indie hipster romantic comedies.

(grumplet) Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: SNOGGING

Anyone who talks to me about the Harry Potter movies or read my rant in the comments section for Magus’ grumplet about Order of the Phoenix knows that I had a venomous dislike for David Yates, the man who had been handed the keys to the Harry Potter kingdom. Here was a man with absolutely no experience directing a theatrical feature film, let alone a huge, effects-laden installment of one of the most lucrative franchises in the world. While that alone was not enough to damn him in my eyes, the dull, lifeless adaptation of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix was. Not only had it left out certain crucial details that would become important in future installments, but it also seemed to have no regard for the heart of the book, Harry’s inner turmoil, and instead focused on soapbox political allegories and rah-rah student rebellion. While all of this was present and indeed a necessary part of the original work, it seemed like David Yates missed the point. It’s true that the absence of the screenwriter of the previous four films, Steve Clowes, couldn’t have helped things, but the amateurish direction by Yates missed the mark. And with the usual 150-minute runtime cut down to a brisk, 120 minutes, it seemed like Warner Bros. had found its perfect stooge for cranking out another Harry Potter installment on time and on budget under the studio’s thumb.

Inbetween the release of Order of the Phoenix and Half-Blood Prince, a couple things happened. Steve Clowes returned from his sabbatical to adapt the sixth installment, Yates was tapped by Warner Bros. to direct all following Harry Potter installments, beating out other hopefuls like Alfonso Cuarón, and the decision was made to cleave Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows in two so that proper respect could be paid to sending the series off (and, of course, to allow WB to milk their cash cow to the bitter end). My heart understandably sank. Not only was Cuarón, the director of my favorite installment of Harry Potter, not returning, but that Yates hack was getting the glory of finishing up the whole thing. C’est la vie, eh? It was with a heavy heart and extremely low expectations that I entered Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, almost daring Yates to do his worst.

(grumplet) Moon: One Small Step for Real Sci-Fi

You might remember me bemoaning the state of serious science fiction in my Virtuality post. (Which about as many people read as actually saw the program!) Wellllllll… in the back of my mind, I was looking forward to a movie that had been teased to me for the past six months: Moon. It premiered to generally good buzz at the big film festivals and of course it took forever for it to finally show in Kansas City. And hey, it has a Kevin Spacey A.I. and was directed by David Bowie’s son! So as soon as I was able to cajole my dad into paying for the tickets, off we were to the barren, lonely landscape of Moon.

(grumplet) Up: Up, and Straight Up My… Heart~

Sorry this has taken so long to make it up here on Grump Factory, but the theater, she is an expensive beast! And between taking summer school on the weekdays (BAH!) and rising ticket prices (it’s $10 here!) the local AMC 30 has a difficult time coaxing me out. Why, it would take a miracle for me to carve out the time it would take on a weekday to get a decent ticket price to go see a movie. Well, a miracle or a Pixar movie.