Inland Empire: ???

by

[02:19] JohnnyMora: oh
[02:19] JohnnyMora: my
[02:19] JohnnyMora: god
[02:19] SirTMagus: …
[02:19] JohnnyMora: what did i just watch
[02:19] SirTMagus: \:3
[02:19] JohnnyMora: i
[02:19] JohnnyMora: i don’t know if i can grump it
[02:20] SirTMagus: I know.
[02:20] SirTMagus: It’s… futile.

Inland Empire - A Woman in Trouble

Surrealism makes her cry =(

[02:20] JohnnyMora: It would mean saying I understand where the fuck Lynch came from on this.
[02:20] JohnnyMora: Which is, like, Neptune.
[02:20] JohnnyMora: Or the Andromeda galaxy.
[02:20] SirTMagus: The Andromeda STRAAIIIIN!
[02:20] SirTMagus: But yeah.
[02:20] SirTMagus: I
[02:20] JohnnyMora: Laura Dern, sheesh.
[02:20] JohnnyMora: quit kissin’ ladies
[02:21] SirTMagus: She
[02:21] SirTMagus: she’s
[02:21] SirTMagus: my god
[02:21] JohnnyMora: she’s my god too
[02:21] SirTMagus: She’s such a loon.
[02:21] JohnnyMora: that japanese girl
[02:21] SirTMagus: LOL
[02:21] SirTMagus: WHAT
[02:21] SirTMagus: THE
[02:21] SirTMagus: FUUUUCK
[02:21] SirTMagus: “VERGINA”

Who let her out of her cage

[02:21] JohnnyMora: THAT BLACK GIRL
[02:21] JohnnyMora: “you’s dyin”
[02:21] SirTMagus: That black GUY
[02:22] JohnnyMora: “BITCH WHY YOU GOTTA MENTION DAT”
[02:22] SirTMagus: lol

It's after midnight?

[02:22] SirTMagus: Wasn’t it EXCRUCIATING?
[02:22] JohnnyMora: it was
[02:22] JohnnyMora: something
[02:22] JohnnyMora: something else
[02:22] JohnnyMora: i admire it
[02:22] JohnnyMora: but
[02:22] JohnnyMora: i have no idea
[02:22] SirTMagus: Yeah.
[02:22] SirTMagus: Yeah I kno.
[02:22] SirTMagus: :-(
[02:22] SirTMagus: In that I DON’T.
[02:22] SirTMagus: Know.
[02:23] JohnnyMora: that credits sequence
[02:23] JohnnyMora: what was he THINKING?
[02:23] JohnnyMora: oh wait
[02:23] JohnnyMora: he was thinking “no one is gonna watch this so I can do whatever I want”
[02:23] JohnnyMora: I think that’s what the philosophy of the movie was.
[02:23] SirTMagus: Basically.
[02:23] SirTMagus: LUMBERJACKS.
[02:23] JohnnyMora: “No one will ever see this.”

INTERPRETIVE DANCE!!

[02:23] SirTMagus: And Laura Harring.
[02:24] JohnnyMora: Which one was she?
[02:24] SirTMagus: She was in the credits.
[02:24] JohnnyMora: The whore or the WHORE?

Whores!

More whores!

[02:24] SirTMagus: The credits song and dance.
[02:24] SirTMagus: Sitting on a couch.
[02:24] JohnnyMora: blowin’ kisses?
[02:24] SirTMagus: I think so.
[02:24] SirTMagus: Too bad Naomi Watts didn’t return too.
[02:24] JohnnyMora: I mean, really.
[02:24] JohnnyMora: What was that first third of the movie ABOUT?
[02:24] JohnnyMora: She did
[02:24] JohnnyMora: She was a voice.
[02:24] SirTMagus: She did?! Ahh, that’s right.
[02:25] JohnnyMora: I think she was a rabbit?
[02:25] SirTMagus: Pfft, sure.
[02:25] SirTMagus: Sure, why not. A RABBIT.
[02:25] JohnnyMora: WHAT WAS WITH THE RABBITS
[02:25] SirTMagus: Probably… some kind of…. commentary on…… the American……………. familyyyyyyyyyyyy… yeah.
[02:25] JohnnyMora: and
[02:25] SirTMagus: Complete with laugh tracks.

When are you going to tell her?

[02:25] JohnnyMora: And the screwdriver
[02:25] JohnnyMora: and lamps
[02:25] JohnnyMora: and watches
[02:26] JohnnyMora: and burning silk holes
[02:26] SirTMagus: Oh god.
[02:26] SirTMagus: WHO KNOOOOWS

Yeah, I don't know either

[02:26] JohnnyMora: and terrible bubble faces
[02:26] JohnnyMora: GOD
[02:26] JohnnyMora: IT WAS FUCKING FRIGHTENING
[02:26] SirTMagus: Were you frightened?
[02:26] JohnnyMora: YES
[02:26] SirTMagus: Haha.
[02:26] JohnnyMora: THAT’S WHAT I JUST SAID
[02:26] SirTMagus: I was waiting for your screams.
[02:26] SirTMagus: of TERROR.
[02:26] JohnnyMora: I was rapt for that final segment.

Laura Dern in Silent Hill!

 

[02:26] JohnnyMora: It was terrifying.
[02:27] JohnnyMora: It was everything Silent Hill could’ve been.
[02:27] SirTMagus: David Lynch tapped into Silent Hill and — yes.
[02:27] JohnnyMora: Thank god Avary and Glans are off of SH2.
[02:27] JohnnyMora: and Lynch can come in and make Inland Empire 2.
[02:27] SirTMagus: Guuhhhh
[02:27] SirTMagus: It was like everything came full circle.
[02:27] JohnnyMora: or
[02:27] JohnnyMora: or something
[02:28] JohnnyMora: I kept finding references to that crazy Polish lady at the start, but what do they add up to?
[02:28] SirTMagus: No idea.
[02:28] SirTMagus: I kept waiting for her to pop back up too.

THERE VAS... A LEETUL BOY...

[02:28] JohnnyMora: My dad just left the movie half an hour in.
[02:28] SirTMagus: Wow! And it was still comewhat coherent still.
[02:28] SirTMagus: At that point.
[02:29] JohnnyMora: The part where Laura gets a scredriver to the gut was pretty horrific, though.
[02:29] JohnnyMora: comewhat
[02:29] JohnnyMora: scredriver
[02:29] SirTMagus: SCRWEDIDIRIVER
[02:29] JohnnyMora: I mean, her SCREAM.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK

 

HWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH

 

[02:29] JohnnyMora: And her SNAPPING.
[02:30] JohnnyMora: And her monologues. Sheesh. The things I never expected to come out of Laura Dern’s mouth.
[02:30] SirTMagus: That was a performance all right. I wish Lynch’s cow appearances convinced the Academy.
[02:30] SirTMagus: Though I guess Dame Helen Mirren was OKAY. She didn’t get a screwdriver in her cooch though.
[02:30] JohnnyMora: Seriously, that was acting. Laura Dern deserves SOMEthing.
[02:30] JohnnyMora: Like a pat on the back.
[02:30] JohnnyMora: Or therapy.

She's got fruit punch mouth x3

[02:31] SirTMagus: Some bedrest.
[02:31] SirTMagus: Serious fucking bed rest.
[02:31] JohnnyMora: A soothing story told to her by Jeremy Irons. {:3
[02:31] SirTMagus: How cool was it to see — YES.
[02:31] SirTMagus: Jeremy Irons. In a MOVIE. Once more.
[02:31] SirTMagus: How rare is that.
[02:31] JohnnyMora: And one weirder than Dead Ringers.
[02:31] JohnnyMora: I wasn’t sure it could be done.

This movie is going to be the best! bythewayitshaunted

[02:32] JohnnyMora: Although… is Inland Empire a movie?
[02:32] SirTMagus: Harry Dean Stanton was great.
[02:32] JohnnyMora: I mean, let’s think on this.
[02:32] JohnnyMora: Does it have a plot? No.
[02:32] SirTMagus: It does at first. :-(
[02:32] JohnnyMora: Can a movie, as we know it, not have ANY story?
[02:32] SirTMagus: Sure.
[02:33] SirTMagus: Like Koyaanisqatsi.
[02:33] JohnnyMora: But I’m sure that has, like, a moral or something.
[02:33] JohnnyMora: Or a point.
[02:33] SirTMagus: Of course it does! There may not be a straight narrative with charceters but its imagery definitely carries thematic weight.
[02:33] SirTMagus: Inland Empire on the other hand…

[02:34] JohnnyMora: EXACTLY WHAT I’M TRYING TO SAY

what

the

fuck

[02:34] SirTMagus: Well let’s look.
[02:34] JohnnyMora: Inland Empire doesn’t have a message or a point that I can deduce.
[02:34] JohnnyMora: It has a mood and that’s about it.
[02:34] SirTMagus: There are definitely themes though. ALL of Lynch’s fetishes are in this movie.
[02:34] JohnnyMora: The same mood that Lynch loves to evoke.
[02:35] JohnnyMora: Some weird lovechild of alienation, paranoia, unrest and disquiet.
[02:35] JohnnyMora: Alternate title of the movie: Laura Dern Is Told Disturbing Things.
[02:35] SirTMagus: Identity, adultery, Americana…
[02:35] SirTMagus: Oh, yeah. Off the bat.

Huh?

Wha?

I don't follow you.

[02:36] JohnnyMora: I couldn’t even tell who her character WAS halfway through.
[02:36] SirTMagus: NOBODY COUUUULD :-(:-(
[02:36] JohnnyMora: And Beck. How out of place was BECK.
[02:36] SirTMagus: I never thought a movie would come along that’s tougher to decipher than Mulholland Drive.
[02:36] JohnnyMora: NEVER?
[02:37] JohnnyMora: Mulholland Drive is at least DECIPHERABLE.
[02:37] SirTMagus: Well, unless Lynch was involved. \:3
[02:37] JohnnyMora: Unless your name is David Lynch, I doubt you’ll ever have the key to understanding Inland Empire.
[02:37] SirTMagus: A friend of mine saw it twice.
[02:37] JohnnyMora: oh wow
[02:37] JohnnyMora: I’m CONTEMPLATING buying it one day.
[02:37] JohnnyMora: But.
[02:38] JohnnyMora: I need rest.
[02:38] JohnnyMora: And a hug.
[02:38] SirTMagus: He had some epiphany but I struggled to digest it. I’d be curious to see if he still remembers what it is.
[02:38] JohnnyMora: Please ask. I now HAVE to know what this movie’s about.
[02:38] JohnnyMora: I guess that’s Lynch’s specialty.
[02:39] JohnnyMora: Getting you interested in sorting out his unfathomable whims.
[02:39] JohnnyMora: Worked on Twin Peaks.
[02:39] SirTMagus: That’s what I love about him. About filmmakers like him.
[02:39] SirTMagus: What’s your favorite Lynch?
[02:39] JohnnyMora: Probably at this point Mulholland Drive.
[02:39] JohnnyMora: But Twin Peaks has moments of absolute brilliance.
[02:39] JohnnyMora: I think I like Lynch best when there are limits placed upon him.
[02:39] JohnnyMora: Limits of convention.
[02:40] JohnnyMora: Having him go crazy with no boundaries like in Inland Empire and Eraserhead is exhausting.
[02:40] SirTMagus: I’d love for him to attempt a genre flick like Dune or Wild at Heart again.
[02:40] JohnnyMora: What was Wild at Heart?
[02:40] SirTMagus: Doubt that’d ever happen. \:|
[02:41] SirTMagus: A weird road trip flick.
[02:41] JohnnyMora: that counts as a genre?
[02:41] SirTMagus: Nic Cage and Laura Dern escape… for love… or something.
[02:41] JohnnyMora: And Inland Empire doesn’t?!
[02:41] SirTMagus: What genre is Inland Empire?
[02:41] SirTMagus: NIGHTMARE?
[02:41] JohnnyMora: YES
[02:41] JohnnyMora: Which is why my fondest wish is for him to pick up Silent Hill 2.
[02:41] SirTMagus: I’d also love Nic Cage to be in a Lynch flick again.
[02:42] JohnnyMora: no
[02:42] SirTMagus: Nic Cage as James Sunderland.
[02:42] JohnnyMora: He brings enough crazy.
[02:42] JohnnyMora: You would want Nic Cage as anyone.
[02:42] JohnnyMora: Nic Cage as Napoleon.
[02:42] JohnnyMora: Nic Cage as Jesus Christ.
[02:42] SirTMagus: Nic Cage was almost Superman. :3
[02:42] JohnnyMora: Nic Cage as your mom.
[02:42] JohnnyMora: He was almost in a HORRIBLE Superman movie.
[02:43] JohnnyMora: With Tim Burton and Doomsday and his horrible space wars.
[02:43] SirTMagus: With GIANT spiders.
[02:43] JohnnyMora: they are the fiercest killers of the animal kingdom
[02:43] SirTMagus: The only good MadTV sketch was Nic Cage in LEAVING METROPOLIS.
[02:43] SirTMagus: a.ka. drunken Superman. lulz
[02:43] JohnnyMora: you lie
[02:43] JohnnyMora: there is no good MadTV sketch
[02:43] SirTMagus: Unless Will Sasso can cut loose.
[02:44] SirTMagus: Back to Lynch though,
[02:44] SirTMagus: at what point in Inland Empire did you realize it was off the deep end?
[02:44] JohnnyMora: The sex scene.
[02:44] JohnnyMora: With Laura Dern talkin’ dirty.
[02:45] JohnnyMora: EVERY MAN’S DREAM
[02:45] SirTMagus: :-(
[02:45] JohnnyMora: fuckin’ dr. ellie sattler

OH YEAH BABY LET'S FUCK BEFORE THE RAPTORS SHOW UP

[02:45] SirTMagus: Y’know, it’s now after watching The Fly and in the process of gathering a crowd for Possession, that I realize Jurassic Park has one of the best casts ever assembled.
[02:46] SirTMagus: Three fucking loons.
[02:46] SirTMagus: Together.
[02:46] SirTMagus: Getting chases by DINOSAURS.
[02:46] SirTMagus: CHASED, even.
[02:46] SirTMagus: Brilliance.
[02:47] JohnnyMora: “A blonde actress is preparing for her biggest role yet, but when she finds herself falling for her co-star, she realizes that her life is beginning to mimic the fictional film that they’re shooting. Adding to her confusion is the revelation that the current film is a remake of a doomed Polish production, 47, which was never finished due to an unspeakable tragedy. ”
[02:47] JohnnyMora: LOL
[02:47] JohnnyMora: GREAT PLOT SUMMARY, IMDB

Fuck Hollywood.

Right up the ass.

[02:47] JohnnyMora: And yes.
[02:47] JohnnyMora: Those three should get together again.
[02:47] JohnnyMora: And devour the night.
[02:48] SirTMagus: They’re like Chrono Trigger’s Dream Team.
[02:48] JohnnyMora: It IS rumored Jeff Goldblum feasts on innocence.
[02:49] JohnnyMora: but wow
[02:49] JohnnyMora: i wonder if i should even try inland empire’s second disc.
[02:49] SirTMagus: oh god
[02:49] SirTMagus: a second disc?
[02:49] JohnnyMora: or if it will just drive me to madness
[02:49] SirTMagus: What could possibly be ON it?
[02:49] SirTMagus: An explanation?!
[02:50] JohnnyMora: According to the title on the back of the case, “More Things That Happened.”
[02:50] SirTMagus: Fucking
[02:50] SirTMagus: Lord.
[02:50] SirTMagus: :-(

LOL METACOMMENTARY

[02:50] JohnnyMora: So what WAS the inland empire?
[02:51] SirTMagus: It’s some area in California.
[02:51] SirTMagus: Maybe it means LANDLOCKED. Maybe that’s…. symbolic. For. Shit.
[02:52] SirTMagus: Who the hell knows. :-(
[02:52] SirTMagus: How’d you like all the GRAIN and NOISE?
[02:52] JohnnyMora: lol
[02:52] JohnnyMora: The IMDB review says “not really possible to write a spoiler.”
[02:52] JohnnyMora: So true.
[02:52] JohnnyMora: I LOVE GRAIN AND NOISE
[02:52] JohnnyMora: HOW’D YOU GUESS
[02:53] SirTMagus: THIS EMPIRE SURE IS INLAND
[02:53] JohnnyMora: I was waiting for her to say that.
[02:53] JohnnyMora: Every movie title should be done up like that.
[02:53] JohnnyMora: “THIS PARK SURE IS JURASSIC”
[02:53] SirTMagus: Exactly.
[02:53] JohnnyMora: “THIS INTELLIGENCE SURE IS ARTIFICIAL”
[02:53] SirTMagus: Luckily, in Pathfinder, they DO say Pathfinder a lot. He never says “I AM PATHFINDER!!!” though. :-(
[02:53] JohnnyMora: “THIS REPORT SURE IS A MINORITY”
[02:54] JohnnyMora: !
[02:54] SirTMagus: “THERE’S A GHOST… in THIS SHELL!”
[02:54] JohnnyMora: Let’s not talk about that here. |:3
[02:54] JohnnyMora: Pathfinder, that is.
[02:54] JohnnyMora: We always need to mention GitS at least once, or it’s not Grump Factory.
[02:54] SirTMagus: Good point.

I see what you did there.

[02:55] SirTMagus: “This is not as good as Ghost in the Shell but NOTHING IS AHAHAHA.” *sips caviar out of a chalice*
[02:55] SirTMagus: *chokes*
[02:55] SirTMagus: :-(
[02:55] JohnnyMora: [Lynch says “CUT”]
[02:55] JohnnyMora: [Magus wanders into a grimy den of bubble faces]
[02:55] JohnnyMora: [he kisses Karl Urban]
[02:55] SirTMagus: *the chalice wiggles around and starts to bleed*
[02:55] JohnnyMora: [credits of everyone dancing]

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14 Responses to “Inland Empire: ???”

  1. Katie Says:

    You should check out “Wild at Heart.” I kind of like it. It is a retelling of The Wizard of Oz done Lynch style.

  2. james Says:

    Now I have to rent this. Then I can blame YOU.

  3. Red Dragon Says:

    BEST GRUMP EVAR!

  4. johnmora Says:

    What made you like it more than others?!

  5. GeorgeK Says:

    “THIS EMPIRE SURE IS INLAND”. Haha, yeah, someone sure should have said that at some point. I went and looked it up after the second time I watched it and it’s some place in California. But I was also thinking. Poland used to be landlocked. http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/images/Poland/polmap.gif And it used to be an empire. And there’s a lot of Polish shit going on. How about that?

    Anywho, I think the movie is supposedly not supposed to be about anything [Lynch does this frustrating “it’s like abstract art thing”] but I don’t buy that you can shoot a three hour movie, even if you’re improsiving, without some sort of fucking coherence coming up eventually. So I think what’s happening is the story that emerges is that of a movie character realising she’s fictional and breaking through gradual cocoons of fiction to find her way into other fictions [the rabbits] and eventually manifest in reality [the polish prostitute’s room].

    So yeah, it’s fucked up because it plays with what’s true and what’s not and the personal journey of the fictional character into comprehension as a metaphor for a person’s development. I think that theme is similar to that of “Cowboy Bebop” and [here it is] the “Invisibles”.

    Remind me to buy the DVD.

  6. GeorgeK Says:

    Yea dammit, that comment didn’t make much sense now that I read it. It makes sense to me but I am not sure I can communicate it without a lot of thinking first. Grumble.

  7. Tex Ritter Says:

    I just got done watching this a few minutes ago.

    Laura Dern on her own is scarier than anything prosthetic makeup could do.

    I liked this movie except for the Beck part.

  8. johnmora Says:

    I know, right? Every musical cue is spot-on except for Beck. Beck just doesn’t… feel… ominous.

    And George, you made sense to me. Far more sense than this movie.

  9. IGoByChad Says:

    Great, now I have to see it. This is worse than the time I had to sit through The Forbidden Zone or Plan 9 From Outer Space.

  10. Grump Selects: Possession « Grump Factory Says:

    […] Sam Neill. You may remember I made some vague mention to his nutjob status in a previous article about something or other. If all you’ve seen of him is Jurassic Park and Merlin (ah, grainy […]

  11. tomhouseman Says:

    INLAND EMPIRE is a masterpiece. You’re not supposed to understand it; that’s the brilliance of it! You just embrace it and go along for the ride.

    http://www.indietainment.wordpress.com

  12. patb Says:

    Inland empire is fucking nonsense and don’t let what you feel you should think obscure you to that fact. For one,it’s badly shot, which has nothing to do with it being shot on video. Some of the the widescreen closeups look like the type of shots you’d get in an early eighties Van Halen video. The sound is often really bad, as a result of using the onboard camera mic. Laura Dern’s performance looks like an audition for an off broadway play. Overall, if this had been shot on film, it would be at least an hour shorter. If it had been made at all. David Lynch has made some of my favourite films but don’t confuse obscurity with depth.

  13. John Mora Says:

    Honestly, I just really love the way this movie feels and makes me feel. I can’t pretend to understand it or to say that Lynch meant for any of it to happen, but there you go.

  14. Racer X Says:

    I lol’d.

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