Archive for November, 2008

Performance Review – 24: Redepemtionionon

November 26, 2008

beep beep beep beep beepbeepbeepbeepBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP BEEP

Dammit! I don’t have time so I’ll make this short!


Up, Up and Straight Up My Ass! – Supergirl: Superman For Your Grandmother

November 24, 2008

Another exciting installment!

There are times where we, as a nation, ask ourselves the eternal question: Why? Why do studios make movies with ridiculous plots starring talentless hacks that will appeal to no one? I’m not sure I can think of a superhero more extraneous than Supergirl.¬†I’m trying to imagine a place and time where releasing Supergirl as a movie¬†seemed like a good idea. I THINK I can… Superman III was in the pipeline and all signs pointed to that being a blockbuster… but couldn’t they be making MORE money at the same time? I mean, why WAIT for another Superman movie to happen? So a mustache-twirling studio executive greenlit a movie all about Superman’s cousin, Kara. THE MOVIE EVERYONE HAD BEEN ASKING FOR.

This is where the budget went


QUANTUM OF SOLACE – Quantum of Bolus

November 18, 2008

The first warning sign came in the meandering car chase intro that’s edited far too haphazardly to tell what is happening, or who or what is where. It’s choppy to the point of looking unfinished. In Quantum of Solace, the latest Bond flick, director Marc Forster (The Kite Runner, Stranger Than Fiction) forgets all about the geography of an action scene. How does Bond get there from this shot to that shot? What caused this event to happen? Why am I not the least bit excited? At least in Paul Greengrass’ Bourne Ultimatum, which Quantum unabashedly apes in style and tone from rooftop chases to stark and brutal close quarters combat, you can tell what’s going on through the flurry of cuts and edits. Here it looks like shots are simply missing. The scene takes a dramatic turn when the camera lays still for once watching the cars just follow each other… and follow each other… and follow each other. Until Bond escapes his pursuers and I can’t remember how he does it. And I just saw this hours ago.

Quick, shoot the writer


Up, Up and Straight Up My Ass: Superman III – HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY

November 3, 2008


Okay, since I have to get through all the Superman movies, I thought to myself, “Why make it so hard on myself? Shouldn’t I WANT to be entertained by these films?” So with a much more accepting, positive, upbeat attitude, here comes Superman III!

This really speaks for the whole movie