Happy Holidays – Fievel Goes West: MOUSEBURGERS!!

by

JohnnyMora: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2AIhDuZ71k
JohnnyMora: ready when you are
sirtmagus: k hold on
sirtmagus: k i’m set
sirtmagus: thought it’d be a bright idea to make hot chocolate :V
JohnnyMora: {:s
JohnnyMora: well
JohnnyMora: pass some over here when you’re done~
JohnnyMora: tell me when you press play~
sirtmagus: nooowww
JohnnyMora: I associate this old Universal logo with The Jetsons Movie
sirtmagus: UNIVERSAL? Is can it be Jurassic Park time now?
JohnnyMora: IT’S SPIELBERG, SO MAYBE
JohnnyMora: Oh man, it was John Cleese?
JohnnyMora: JAMES HORNER?
sirtmagus: the jetsons movie was this like dark dystopian thing with slave aliens right?
JohnnyMora: Yes.
JohnnyMora: But man.
sirtmagus: Yaeh, Cleese is the cat villain.
JohnnyMora: It looks like they went all out with the production except for actually putting effort into the credits.
JohnnyMora: This is like the laziest.
sirtmagus: I dunno, it cut to the chase.
JohnnyMora: And what’s-his-face was nowhere near this.
sirtmagus: I don’t like when opening credits drag.
sirtmagus: Don Bluth?
JohnnyMora: yes
JohnnyMora: busy with ROCKADOODLE, maybe
JohnnyMora: That was a great pan.
sirtmagus: pfft. that guy… was silly.
JohnnyMora: Jimmy Stewart, you are so great.
sirtmagus: Jimmy Stewart’s final role is a burping dog sheriff, huh.
JohnnyMora: sigh
JohnnyMora: yeah
sirtmagus: At least it wasn’t a giant transforming planet that eats other planets.


JohnnyMora: This is exactly how all my childhood fantasies ended
sirtmagus: Heh. That was a nice transition.
JohnnyMora: My mom called me for dinner and the background melted into turn of the century New York.
JohnnyMora: I love how they’re making fun of her for singing YET ANOTHER BALLAD.
sirtmagus: heh. this is for everyone who got sick of her constant singing in the LAST movie.
sirtmagus: YEAH.
JohnnyMora: what kind of tomato is YELLOW?
sirtmagus: Oh, Papa Mouse, always so optimistic.
sirtmagus: A poor tomato.
JohnnyMora: :(
JohnnyMora: I wonder if 4chan has Mrs. Mousekewitz porn
JohnnyMora: When did this awful little baby show up
sirtmagus: I.. have no idea.
JohnnyMora: I always admired these movies’ ways of saying the American dream is a piece of crap.
sirtmagus: This scene is so timely. :C
JohnnyMora: lol
sirtmagus: Oh DOM DELOUISE.
sirtmagus: So huge and bloated.
JohnnyMora: You are constantly out of breath from being fat.
sirtmagus: Can’t he calm down!?
JohnnyMora: No
sirtmagus: “no.”
JohnnyMora: What the hell is this lady talking about?
sirtmagus: She wants some freakish CAT-DOG. :|
sirtmagus: What a horrible cartoon that was.
JohnnyMora: We’ll always have D’BRONX
sirtmagus: And strange pink pheromones.
sirtmagus: This is a Don Bluth-ism isn’t it?
JohnnyMora: Batman and Robin so copied this
sirtmagus: Freaky sentient gases?
sirtmagus: PART 2
JohnnyMora: It should be!
sirtmagus: CAT ATTACK!?
sirtmagus: This movie wastes no time.
sirtmagus: MEEE-YOOW.
JohnnyMora: Hmm
JohnnyMora: Good thing John Cleese mentioned no eating.
JohnnyMora: Otherwise I’d think these pussies were… pussies. |:3
sirtmagus: The writers thought things through.
sirtmagus: I like that the family’s tertiary this time ’round.
sirtmagus: like WHATEVER, MA AND PA
JohnnyMora: :(
JohnnyMora: I like ’em
sirtmagus: I’ll jump outta this window.
JohnnyMora: how did Fievel know about John Wayne
JohnnyMora: AWFUL RUSSIAN JEW VIOLINS SAVE THE DAY
sirtmagus: Ugh, that was quite the sound.
sirtmagus: MUSIC.
JohnnyMora: Michael Giacchino was listening to that violin
sirtmagus: It’s pretty great.
sirtmagus: That can has terrible controls.
JohnnyMora: I wonder if they ever explain why the cat had to be English.
sirtmagus: Villains are ALWAYS British.
JohnnyMora: Just like Nazis, I guess!
JohnnyMora: Fievel has no survival instinct.
JohnnyMora: yawl~
sirtmagus: Heh. Cleese is pretty swell.
JohnnyMora: I was about to say, this just about justifies the British cat.
sirtmagus: These mouse are so dumb. :c
JohnnyMora: Well
sirtmagus: These… MICE.
JohnnyMora: Their brains are so small.
JohnnyMora: non-narcissistic~
sirtmagus: YAWL.
JohnnyMora: Fievel always sounds like he’s in a TV commercial.
sirtmagus: Opportunity out west!
sirtmagus: These mice never saw Deadwood.
JohnnyMora: Like every line is a tagline.
JohnnyMora: If they did, they’d be saying “cocksucker” a lot more.
JohnnyMora: So they went back to their house and left that note? {:\
JohnnyMora: I thought their home was DANGEROUS
sirtmagus: MOM, WHAT ARE YOU SAYING
sirtmagus: HEH! i was waiting for a joke at actors’ expense.
JohnnyMora: I miss his OLD hat.
sirtmagus: his… FLOP HAT?
JohnnyMora: YES
JohnnyMora: Sheryl approved.
sirtmagus: it was very … blue. and floppy.
JohnnyMora: That’s a good line
sirtmagus: You’re the best cat I ever met?
JohnnyMora: “If growing up were easy… would it take so long?”
sirtmagus: Oh. :3
JohnnyMora: Dogs… I HATE those guys!
sirtmagus: PART 3
sirtmagus: … NO TICKET.
JohnnyMora: oh god
JohnnyMora: if you pause it on the dogs, they are awfully drawn
sirtmagus: I remember Don Bluth’s dogs being terrifying.
sirtmagus: I like this fat one though. x3
JohnnyMora: Name something of Don Bluth’s that isn’t terrifying.
sirtmagus: Anatasia’s pretty comely.
sirtmagus: ANASTASIA EVEN :V
sirtmagus: And Dom Delouise.
sirtmagus: PUNS.
sirtmagus: Where are these dog’s owners?
JohnnyMora: it’s new york whatever
JohnnyMora: A dog was driving the train?!
JohnnyMora: YEAH, TELL IT, OPERA MOUSE
sirtmagus: WHOA, a SONG?
sirtmagus: I … completely forgot this has musical-type songs in it.
JohnnyMora: Some of these people are the same from the first movie
sirtmagus: The United Cheeses of America.
sirtmagus: This movie’s weird.
sirtmagus: I like those bunnies watching the train.
JohnnyMora: :3
sirtmagus: This song is kind of… cacaphonous.
JohnnyMora: Yeahhhh
JohnnyMora: thankfully it’s short
sirtmagus: What were they saying besides “Way Out West?”
JohnnyMora: RABBLERABBLERABBLE
sirtmagus: lol dom tried to be a fish
JohnnyMora: What is a dog doing driving a wagon
sirtmagus: What was a dog doing driving a TRAIN?
sirtmagus: ….Is Dom a SQUEAK TOY?
JohnnyMora: His bag is marked F
JohnnyMora: for FIEVEL
JohnnyMora: yes
JohnnyMora: have you ever SEEN the man?!
sirtmagus: Yes!
sirtmagus: I guess… it makes sense. :o
JohnnyMora: Fievel, stay PUT
JohnnyMora: Don’t you remember what happened the last time?!
sirtmagus: This kid friggin’ loves adventure.
sirtmagus: Ugh, gross spider.
JohnnyMora: These cats are interesting henchmen {:\
JohnnyMora: FRENCHMAN
sirtmagus: lol FRENCH CAT?
JohnnyMora: I guess so the Brit isn’t out of place.
sirtmagus: I wonder what this British cat was reading.
JohnnyMora: This guy thinks it’s less effort to lure mice to the West than to chase and eat them.
sirtmagus: He’s the Ozymandias of Fievel Goes West.
JohnnyMora: I was hoping he’d eat that guy!
sirtmagus: What the– was this drunk doomed mouse in Great Mouse Detective too?!
JohnnyMora: ugh
sirtmagus: “What do we have heeaaahhh–“
JohnnyMora: what did he just SLATHER Fievel in?!
sirtmagus: {:[
sirtmagus: MUTHTARRRRD
JohnnyMora: don’t try the clam chowder
sirtmagus: So he’s insane.
JohnnyMora: I guess
JohnnyMora: This spider is, too!
sirtmagus: Fighting his animal instinct. TO become a CULTURED British/Western cat.
sirtmagus: So this is basically the biggest spider ever I guess.
JohnnyMora: there are spiders that big.
sirtmagus: shut up :c
JohnnyMora: WHAT DID I TELL YOU, FIEVEL
sirtmagus: Badlands. Worselands. HYUK.
sirtmagus: PART 4
JohnnyMora: I like the creative places the mice put things in the human world. :3
sirtmagus: So they think Aragorn is dead.
JohnnyMora: Oh god, mouse grief. D:
sirtmagus: I wonder why this wasn’t a trilogy.
sirtmagus: Was that mouse saying “PUYO PUYO PUYO” in the background?
JohnnyMora: With the last movie being about Fievel’s self-centered grandson?
JohnnyMora: |:3
JohnnyMora: Oh, Mr. Mousekewitz. You have the worst judgment.
sirtmagus: Way to go, dad. A bucket.
sirtmagus: This spider is NUTS.
JohnnyMora: I KNOW
sirtmagus: He’s like a Kids In the Hall character or something.
JohnnyMora: When will this guy stop being optimistic?!
sirtmagus: Hhhhhhhhhhow can we survive
sirtmagus: Jeez. This cat.
JohnnyMora: Where did that spotlight come from
sirtmagus: Her HEART.
sirtmagus: They take the loss of their son pretty well.
JohnnyMora: well this is like the fifth time or something
JohnnyMora: UGH
JohnnyMora: catcti
JohnnyMora:
JohnnyMora: CATCTI?
sirtmagus: i dunno. that was an odd bit of animation.
sirtmagus: Let’s have this Jewish mice transform into cacti now.
sirtmagus: *THESE
sirtmagus: STUPID SEXY OWL
JohnnyMora: lol!
JohnnyMora: god, these movies are full of nearly-missed connections
JohnnyMora: it depressed me so much as a kid
sirtmagus: DANCING BUFFALO BONES
JohnnyMora: and a skeleton cow plays puttin’ on the ritz.
sirtmagus: WOW
JohnnyMora: YEAH, SALT THAT TAIL
sirtmagus: That was an elegant scene transition.
JohnnyMora: And the broad stereotypes begin anew.
sirtmagus: Charlie Brown Mouse Indian Chief.
sirtmagus: Peter Pan did it toooo~
sirtmagus: UGH. Hideous cat rock.
JohnnyMora: UGH
JohnnyMora: HIDEOUS CAT
sirtmagus: This is the strangest series of events.
JohnnyMora: Why did that scene need to transition from a hawk’s ey–oh :3
sirtmagus: haha. Fievel.
sirtmagus: HE WAS IN A BIND.
JohnnyMora: that was slightly nightmarish!
JohnnyMora: WHO IS TIGER TALKING TO
sirtmagus: US. Because how else can you possibly explain what’s going on.
sirtmagus: HAKUNA MATATA?
JohnnyMora: elegant symbolism!
sirtmagus: These mice are proud warriors.
JohnnyMora: And that bird is terrified.
JohnnyMora: It’s just trying to eat, man!
sirtmagus: I feel bad for it!
sirtmagus: PART 5?!
JohnnyMora: uggghhhh, inside dom delouise’s mouth
sirtmagus: oh nooo
sirtmagus: i’m in a mooouth
sirtmagus: OH JESUS
sirtmagus: THIS IS
sirtmagus: :O
JohnnyMora: SUDDEN, HUH
sirtmagus: I forgot that
sirtmagus: a cat gullet is in this movie.
sirtmagus: and it’s horrifying.
JohnnyMora: that has to be the most unreliable method of transportation
JohnnyMora: There are desert raccoons?!
sirtmagus: oh my.
sirtmagus: THIS IS
sirtmagus: WHAT IS
sirtmagus: THIS SEQUENCE
sirtmagus: I forgot ALL of this.
sirtmagus: ROLLIN’ ROLLIN’ ROLLIN’?
JohnnyMora: Ugh, grandpa dog
sirtmagus: Suddenly, Fievel is where he needs to be.
JohnnyMora: burping
sirtmagus: god
sirtmagus: green dog burp gas.
JohnnyMora: These mice got a stew goin’~
sirtmagus: hey don’t throw that bone away~
JohnnyMora: How do the people not notice them?!
JohnnyMora: Mouse-hican? |:[
JohnnyMora: Tiger iiiiiiiis a goddddddddd
sirtmagus: I… do you SEE people ever again from here on?
sirtmagus: You saw glimpes of them before…
sirtmagus: But these cats have their own salon now, so…
JohnnyMora: Scientist cat?!
sirtmagus: SALOON. Not salon.
sirtmagus: Dr. Strangecat.
sirtmagus: lol
sirtmagus: MOUSEBURGERS
sirtmagus: MOUSEBURGERS!!!!!!!
JohnnyMora: How did this lady not hear that?!
sirtmagus: She’s too busy being awful.
JohnnyMora: AAAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHH
sirtmagus: AUGH
sirtmagus: WHAT
sirtmagus: WAS THAT
JohnnyMora: PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY~~~~
sirtmagus: who
sirtmagus: who was that WONDERFUL woman?
JohnnyMora: [gigantic cleavage]
JohnnyMora: Related to Gossip Gertie.
JohnnyMora: I loved this song as a kid {:3
sirtmagus: EEET’S DEENER TYYMEEE
JohnnyMora: I’d rewind to listen to it again.
sirtmagus: This was always my favorite sequence.
sirtmagus: Cuz like the villain had a SOFT SPOT or something. Whatever this is.
JohnnyMora: Whose version is better: this or LINDA RONSTADT’s?
sirtmagus: THE MOUSE’S.
JohnnyMora: What is this dampening of paper?!
JohnnyMora: It’s a sumptuous effect. :3
sirtmagus: Music soothes the savage British cat.
JohnnyMora: lol
JohnnyMora: savage
JohnnyMora: british
sirtmagus: olol
JohnnyMora: DANCING HAND
JohnnyMora: This cat IS insane.
sirtmagus: Wow, Sister Mouse has exemplary typefacing skills.
sirtmagus: She doesn’t seem to notice!
JohnnyMora: the first rule of singing is to never open your eyes
sirtmagus: Too busy DREAMING DREAMS TO DREAM
JohnnyMora: That cat echoed my sentiments: What.
sirtmagus: Nature’s Ashtray. Heh.
JohnnyMora: Villains certainly hate being called things, don’t they!
sirtmagus: HAHA
sirtmagus: What an exit.
sirtmagus: PART 6!?
JohnnyMora: PUFF
JohnnyMora: There are so many gentle cats in this movie. \:[
sirtmagus: they ain’t too bad.
JohnnyMora: This sequence is the anti-Hunchback.
sirtmagus: I guess this is the central dilemma ain’t it
JohnnyMora: Making sure Tanya can sing her stupid song.
sirtmagus: otherwise it’s Fievel Wants to Be Friends With Dying Burp Dog.
JohnnyMora: That COULD be interesting!
JohnnyMora: This spider is from a freakin’ Miike movie.
sirtmagus: He flings enough bodily fluids that’s for sure.
sirtmagus: I don’t want my meow to fall off. :c
JohnnyMora: A MEEOWWWWWSE?!
sirtmagus: LOL
sirtmagus: I liked that too.
sirtmagus: This movie’s got some great soundbytes.
sirtmagus: and sound DESIGN, jeez.
JohnnyMora: GARSH
JohnnyMora: I liked this song, too. It’s a pip. :3
sirtmagus: THIS PART IS FUN TOO
JohnnyMora: It’s like
sirtmagus: YEAHHHHH
JohnnyMora: The opera house
JohnnyMora: And the spider is ULTROS
sirtmagus: :-D
sirtmagus: Fievel IS Locke Cole.
sirtmagus: lol cat man chorus
JohnnyMora: Everyone in animated movies is a talented singer.
JohnnyMora: “I’m in paaaiiiiiiin”
sirtmagus: woooooooooo
sirtmagus: There’s that magic cat gas again.
sirtmagus: SO MUCH… GAS IN THIS MOVIE.
sirtmagus: Well that was an odd finish to a scene.
JohnnyMora: His parents just let him go anywhere at anytime.
sirtmagus: Yeah, what the hell, Mr. and Mrs. Mousekewitz.
JohnnyMora: Which is concerning considering they just thought he was dead.
sirtmagus: oh god
sirtmagus: Jimmy Stewart IS the old dog. :C
JohnnyMora: Who gave a dog a BADGE
JohnnyMora: Yup
JohnnyMora: so many dog wrinkles
JohnnyMora: This monologue is amazing.
sirtmagus: lol
JohnnyMora: If you ever have to audition
sirtmagus: I’m gonna make sure to audition with it one of these days.
JohnnyMora: Do this instead of Hamlet.
sirtmagus: dog dog dog dog
sirtmagus: other side.
sirtmagus: scene!
JohnnyMora: I do know a GOD!
JohnnyMora: [turns into a Veggie Tales movie]
sirtmagus: You think James Stewart ever saw this?
JohnnyMora: You think he could see by then?
sirtmagus: lol, Dom Cat doesn’t give a hoot.
JohnnyMora: Dom cat?!
sirtmagus: “Give uh give uh give my regards to everyone, yeah.”
JohnnyMora: I imagine Gays Gears of War people as cats. :3
sirtmagus: oh lord. someone somewhere is drawing that.
sirtmagus: PART SEVEN?!?!
JohnnyMora: No one in real life uses enough alliteration.
sirtmagus: I try to.
sirtmagus: I’m friggin’ Cyrano, baby.
sirtmagus: Sexy Dom Cat.
JohnnyMora: Dom is so friggin’ gay in that walk.
sirtmagus: LOL
sirtmagus: That was hilarious.
JohnnyMora: laaaaaaaazy eyyyyyyyyye
sirtmagus: This is bizarre.
sirtmagus: AHHHHHHHHHHHH
JohnnyMora: And I love it.
sirtmagus: WHAT’S HAPPENIIIIIING
JohnnyMora: Not even the lizards get it.
sirtmagus: He just… lost his mind. :x
sirtmagus: And complete control of his face.
sirtmagus: Roll, you varmint, roll.
JohnnyMora: pfft pfft pfft pfft
JohnnyMora: My smile is so big.
sirtmagus: Mine too. Thank Grodd Dom Cat defies physics.
JohnnyMora: RAFT
JohnnyMora: RACKET
JohnnyMora: This is one sashay away from being Nathan Lane cat.
sirtmagus: Oh man. You’re on the mark with that.
JohnnyMora: This turns into a musical number?!
sirtmagus: Yeahhhh, I remember this. Cuz of this LIGHT dance he does.
JohnnyMora: This turns into the beef it’s what’s for dinner song!
sirtmagus: lol
JohnnyMora: James Horner didn’t work very hard on this.
sirtmagus: maybe James Horner did that too?!
JohnnyMora: montage~
sirtmagus: A Bug’s Life would later steal this whole idea. :V
JohnnyMora: I never got to see that :c
sirtmagus: Did you see… SEVEN SAMURAI?
JohnnyMora: WHOA COSTUME CHANGE
sirtmagus: Nice white coats~
JohnnyMora: cat owl?!
sirtmagus: Gulping turtle.
sirtmagus: lol
sirtmagus: to share our DINNER
sirtmagus: OOPS.
JohnnyMora: Cleese is doing everything he can to enjoy this.
JohnnyMora: HOW DO THE MICE NOT SEE THIS
sirtmagus: Their tiny BRAIIIINS.
JohnnyMora: “kill~ <3”
sirtmagus: He always knows what to say.
JohnnyMora: This lady’s taste in men is gross and perverse.
sirtmagus: She’s a freak, she’s a superfreak.
sirtmagus: Dom Cat is outrageous.
JohnnyMora: okay let’s reuse frames and dialogue
JohnnyMora: D:
JohnnyMora: GIANT REVOLVER
sirtmagus: lol they freak their enemies out.
JohnnyMora: YOU’RE ON A MOUSETRAP~
sirtmagus: PART 8 WOOOO
JohnnyMora: Your love is like a MOUSE TRAP
sirtmagus: I’m kinda impressed with the lighting in this.
JohnnyMora: Oh damn, Dom just became Neo.
sirtmagus: HE CAUGHT A KNIFE IN HIS MOUTH
sirtmagus: and spat it BACK
sirtmagus: and he stabbed french cat!?
JohnnyMora: where did that green gas come from?!
sirtmagus: i don’t wanna know
sirtmagus: TEAM ROCKET BLASTS OFF AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT
JohnnyMora: OH NO
sirtmagus: oh. they get MAILED.
JohnnyMora: and worse
sirtmagus: REVEEEENGE. Doesn’t he say that in a Python skiiiiiiit…
JohnnyMora: That water is not normal
sirtmagus: It’s… the LIFESTREAM.
sirtmagus: Stupid sexy girl mouse.
JohnnyMora: What was wrong with her makeup?!
JohnnyMora: It turned into the hoedown on Battlestar Galactica!
sirtmagus: Yeahhh now they’re TRUE AMERICANS.
JohnnyMora: Oh god, no, Jimmy, come back. :c
sirtmagus: There weren’t enough Vertigo jokes in this.
JohnnyMora: Like HOW?
sirtmagus: I dunno but it’s not like the movie could get less weird.
JohnnyMora: This monologue’s good, too.
sirtmagus: HE GOT HIS HAT BACK.
sirtmagus: Fievel found his identity.
sirtmagus: WOW, that movie clipped by.
JohnnyMora: Who was the Bizarre Supervisor?
sirtmagus: What was that like 40 minutes long? :V
JohnnyMora: Nah
JohnnyMora: It was around 80.
JohnnyMora: It just didn’t waste a MINUTE.
JohnnyMora: except on that Mouse-hican storyline.
JohnnyMora: Where did that end up going?
sirtmagus: This must’ve been around the same time as Mask of the Phantasm right? Cuz that was another WB animated movie that didn’t waste a cel.
sirtmagus: Oh yeah, except for Mousehicans.
sirtmagus: That just… went away.
sirtmagus: I don’t remember. WHATEVER.
sirtmagus: But man, that’s still fun.
JohnnyMora: Better than the original?
sirtmagus: I never revisited the original as much as this.
JohnnyMora: Me neither.
JohnnyMora: Maybe because the original had a darker story.
sirtmagus: I barely remember it. Except it was like depressing and weird and scary.
sirtmagus: This was weird and FUN.
JohnnyMora: Hmm… do I smell a revisitation someday? |:3
sirtmagus: Don Bluth had this thing about scaring the shit out of kids I didn’t really get behind.
JohnnyMora: JON LOVITZ WAS THE SPIDER?!
sirtmagus: …WHAT?!
JohnnyMora: I was totally behind scaring the shit out of kids.
JohnnyMora: The BEST movies were frightening in some ways.
JohnnyMora: Laybrinth.
JohnnyMora: Neverending Story.
JohnnyMora: Secret of NIMH and that awful mummified rat with the bony hand.
JohnnyMora: But the scary went away during stupid movies like ROCKADOODLE WHAT THE HELL
sirtmagus: See, those are flicks I missed out on back then. I don’t mind scary kids movies but there’s something about scary animated movies… like I avoided Ghost in the Shell and Akira and ANIME for a while because the style was so… different and violent. And alien.
sirtmagus: Bluth has those same characteristics.
sirtmagus: He’s not… cozy and shiny. Like Disney.
sirtmagus: He’s got pimples and gas and pus and teeth. :C
JohnnyMora: Well I think Bluth, when he wasn’t off his rocker, had some good qualities.
sirtmagus: Oh, sure.
sirtmagus: I’m not saying the guy was a TOTAL ghoul.
JohnnyMora: But I’m also saying nothing wrong with ghouls. :3
sirtmagus: Sure. I can appreciate them a lot more now, I’m sure.
JohnnyMora: But then again I’m not the biggest fan of The Lion King these days.
sirtmagus: Whaaat
sirtmagus: Oh cuz of Simba/Kimba?
sirtmagus: and HAMLET?
JohnnyMora: That helps!
JohnnyMora: And a slight contrary streak in me. ;3
sirtmagus: Aladdin’s still great. Despite the whole Thief & the Cobbler thing…
JohnnyMora: But I don’t like the songs as good as Aladdin. Or even Hunchback.
JohnnyMora: Man.
JohnnyMora: Thief and the Cobbler.
JohnnyMora: It ruined that poor guy’s life.
sirtmagus: He got consumed. He was never sure whether he’d be the man on the stage… or the man in the box.
JohnnyMora: …?!
sirtmagus: The Prestige. |:3
JohnnyMora: {:O
sirtmagus: But uh I mean, friggin’
sirtmagus: LAND BEFORE TIME
sirtmagus: ruined my entire class.
JohnnyMora: That I lump into the same Lion King class.
JohnnyMora: I loved it at a certain point, now, not so much.
JohnnyMora: But the animation in all of Bluth’s movies is excellent.
sirtmagus: It was sooooooo depressing. My entire kindergarten was CRYIIING.
JohnnyMora: Which I guess doesn’t have much to do with Fievel Goest West since he didn’t have anything to do with it!
sirtmagus: Was his name even in the credits just now??
JohnnyMora: Oh god, don’t talk to me about depressing kids’ movies until you see Neverending Story.
JohnnyMora: World’s only existential children’s movie.
sirtmagus: Iron Giant!
JohnnyMora: Did the Iron Giant fight NOTHINGNESS?
sirtmagus: The Iron Giant DISCOVERED HIS SOUL.
JohnnyMora: in a BLACK VOID?
sirtmagus: in a NUCLEAR BLAST.
sirtmagus: WITH A BOX OF SCRAPS
JohnnyMora: Pffft, child, you’s triflin’
sirtmagus: IN A CAVE.
JohnnyMora: We need to get you educated in 80s kid movies, boy.
sirtmagus: I guess it was mostly Transformers, My Little Pony and Thundercats for me. Whoopsie!
JohnnyMora: I mean, jeez, you didn’t even know what JEM was about.
JohnnyMora: Besides true outrageousness.
sirtmagus: TRULY TRULY TRULY
sirtmagus: Somehow My Little Pony got a pass, but Jem did not. I can’t explain it.
sirtmagus: I can’t explain my past actions.
sirtmagus: That’ll hold up in court right?
JohnnyMora: To everyone reading this: Italian theme songs for cartoons are always better. No exceptions.
JohnnyMora: So, Jimmy Stewart. How heartbreaking is THAT? :|
sirtmagus: Oh my god.
sirtmagus: I imagine him recording his lines in his death bed.
JohnnyMora: “Thank you for a billion years of service and countless classic movies, now play a flatulent dog.”
JohnnyMora: Jimmy: “Oh, a-all right, if that’s what the children want…” [flustered]
sirtmagus: :[
sirtmagus: I wonder if Spielberg clamored for him.
sirtmagus: Seems like something he’d do.
JohnnyMora: Was he like, “No one else can play this decrepit, gassy canine. DID YOU HEAR ME OR DO I NEED TO REPEAT MYSELF? Get Jimmy FUCKING Stewart!”
JohnnyMora: But he was a trooper and his performance was good. :O
sirtmagus: The truck from Duel pulls up to Jimmy Stewart’s home. And it SUMMONS him into its cab. :C
sirtmagus: IT WAS.
JohnnyMora: They gave him some really good lines. And he relished them.
sirtmagus: Cuz… you could read all of his lines as the LAST WORDS OF A FILM LEGEND.
sirtmagus: They just happen to be in an insane fucking animated movie about Jewish mice who move out west.
JohnnyMora: Great movie about a Russian mouse Jew discovering the American dream or GREATEST movie about a Russian mouse Jew discovering the American dream?
sirtmagus: Wait. So. The American dream.
sirtmagus: It was gained… with magic water.
sirtmagus: After… a big fat cat beat up other big cats.
sirtmagus: All of the sudden.
JohnnyMora: And if you’re bad a giant voluptuous woman will cradle you between her boobs.
sirtmagus: I… i want to be bad. {:3
JohnnyMora: {:\
sirtmagus: UHHHHHHHH
sirtmagus: YEAH.
sirtmagus: Spielberg.
sirtmagus: His stink is all over this movie.
JohnnyMora: Howso!
sirtmagus: It’s faster, it’s happier, it’s brighter, snappier, the humor is WEIRD and off-kilter
sirtmagus: like a proto-Animaniacs
sirtmagus: with out-of-left-field movie references
sirtmagus: to movies NO kid would know
JohnnyMora: Spielberg did the original, too, though.
sirtmagus: But would you call it a Bluth project or a Spielberg one?
sirtmagus: ;3
JohnnyMora: Well that’s not fair because a bunch of nobodies made the second one!
JohnnyMora: John Cleese, man. He had fun with it. :3
sirtmagus: Then it’s Spielberg! His name’s right at the beginning!
sirtmagus: Oh yeah. He’s a peach.
sirtmagus: There are some great lines in the flick.
sirtmagus: Or, uh. Yeah. Soundbytes.
sirtmagus: MOUSEBURGERS.
sirtmagus: Real… YTMND fodder.
sirtmagus: That makes a good movie, right?
JohnnyMora: “Kill~”
JohnnyMora: It HELPS.
JohnnyMora: But man, you asked why this was the end of the franchise, didn’t you?
sirtmagus: Heh. Yeahhh?
JohnnyMora: It wasn’t. :c
sirtmagus: …WHAT?
sirtmagus: Did they make.. a SECRET SEQUEL?
JohnnyMora: It had a TV series and two direct to video sequels.
sirtmagus: Whhhhhhooooaaaa.
sirtmagus: OH!
sirtmagus: Were they produced the same time as the Land Before INFINITE AMOUNT OF Time sequels?
JohnnyMora: Thereabouts.
sirtmagus: That was like an annual event for a while.
JohnnyMora: They eventually stopped numbering the damn things.
sirtmagus: That’s when you know there’s too many.
sirtmagus: Like Rocky. Or Rambo. Or Halloween.
sirtmagus: Oh, god, Halloween.
sirtmagus: Land Before Time: Evolution: Salvation: War Zone: Legend of Chun-Li
JohnnyMora: Legend of Chula
sirtmagus: lol
sirtmagus: Oh man I wonder if he returned.
JohnnyMora: Yes
JohnnyMora: So did Cat R. Waul.
sirtmagus: Not like Jon Lovitz had anything else to do. Critic was canceled nice and swift.
JohnnyMora: Rescued from the sarlaac cleavage.
sirtmagus: nnnrrrgggghhh
JohnnyMora: This TV series was wayy before Critic.
JohnnyMora: Fievel Goes West was only 1991.
JohnnyMora: And the show was 1992.
sirtmagus: Oh, I have no idea what my timeline is.
JohnnyMora: And the final Fievel adventure was 1999!!
JohnnyMora: And no evidence of it exists on Youtube. Thank god?
sirtmagus: Oh man… maybe I did know there was a MOUSEKEWITZ CHRONICLES TV show. BATMAN took over in 1992 so I didn’t really care about anything else by then.
sirtmagus: I wonder how the Fievel Saga ends.
JohnnyMora: AI and nannermachines.
sirtmagus: This is WAY OUT WEST… isn’t it?
JohnnyMora: I’m too busy DREAMING DREAMS TO DREAM to notice!
JohnnyMora: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4IvgxRci5M0
JohnnyMora: Oh god, I remember this. It made me want pizza so bad.
JohnnyMora: I STILL get those personal pan pizzas.
sirtmagus: Hey, Fievel IS a commercial.
sirtmagus: LET’S GOOOO
sirtmagus: to PIZZA HUUUUT
JohnnyMora: This movie was a bit more tasteful when it came to stereotypes, though.
JohnnyMora: No “MAMMA MIAs”.
sirtmagus: I kept waiting for the Chinese railroad worker mouse this time around.
JohnnyMora: D:
sirtmagus: I bet he’s in there somewhere.
sirtmagus: Hiding.
JohnnyMora: All we had was broad Native American stereotypes.
JohnnyMora: oh, i know what happened to the mousehicans
JohnnyMora: Tiger brought the plague
sirtmagus: … lol
sirtmagus: Mass murder in Fievel Goes West.
JohnnyMora: genocide
sirtmagus: Mel Gibson should do the mouse version of Apocalypto.
sirtmagus: With real mice. :C
JohnnyMora: What the HELL was Cat R. Waul’s plan?!
JohnnyMora: It was sooooo dumb
sirtmagus: MOUSEBURGERS, remember?
sirtmagus: They say it like
sirtmagus: NINE TIMES
JohnnyMora: What was WRONG with just chasing mice?!
sirtmagus: He lured them all into once location! To see his GLORIOUS golden … scissors.
JohnnyMora: yeah, but
JohnnyMora: it took forever
JohnnyMora: and he didn’t end up getting any
sirtmagus: I was disappointed there wasn’t an actual hamburger bun on the mousetrap though, like in Dr. Strangecat’s blueprint.
JohnnyMora: Why was he there, too?!
sirtmagus: Spielberg was like “There MUST be a Kubrick joke … here.”
JohnnyMora: And then he left the studios and never came back.
JohnnyMora: And they were just stunned.
sirtmagus: He left with TEDDY. |:\
sirtmagus: To find his mom. ;___;
JohnnyMora: cuz he snuck out of the house
JohnnyMora: to do whatever
JohnnyMora: JUST LIKE FIEVEL
JohnnyMora: The world’s worst son.
sirtmagus: They were more concerned with their awful bucket than their awful son.
sirtmagus: As a character Fievel is quite thin, isn’t he.
JohnnyMora: He had more depth in the first movie.
JohnnyMora: There it was just bad luck that got him where he was.
JohnnyMora: In this movie it’s willful idiocy.
sirtmagus: Is Fievel the animated Forrest Gump?
JohnnyMora: The third Fievel movie had him meeting Teddy Roosevelt.
JohnnyMora: And accidentally starting World War I!
sirtmagus: Or a rotund mouse version of him. Can’t you just imagine that?
JohnnyMora: oh god, yes
JohnnyMora: EVEN BETTER
sirtmagus: He assassinates a mouse version of Archduke Ferdinand!
JohnnyMora: Mouse versions… of EVERYONE!!!
sirtmagus: EEEEEVVVVVERRRRYYYOOOOONNNEEEE

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7 Responses to “Happy Holidays – Fievel Goes West: MOUSEBURGERS!!”

  1. Sean/Shard Says:

    “Awful Mummified Rat” was Nicodemus, and as creepy as he was, The Great Owl was a thing of nightmare. I loved The Secret of NIMH though, even as a kid.

    Animated movies of the non-Disney variety didn’t pull too many punches in the 80s. I watched Watership Down recently and I couldn’t believe the amount of gore and violence they got away with.

    I was getting old enough when Fievel rolled around that it didn’t really hold any interest for me.

  2. Film Walrus Says:

    Oh, poor Don Bluth. I do enjoy “The Secrets of NIMH” with its color-theory inspired warm/cool spots and post-dubbed “B”risbees. Was there a single Bluth film that wasn’t ripped from his hands and sequelized into artistic squalor?

    PS. I actually liked Anastasia, especially the evil Rasputin.

    Some time I need to get on IM with you guys and get some advice on putting together a top 100 animated films list. I’m especially looking for advice on films that are easy to overlook, but deserving of canindacy.

  3. John Mora Says:

    Oh gosh. I’m not even sure I know FIFTY animated movies that deserve to be on any sort of “best of” list. For every Thief and the Cobbler and Ghost in the Shell there’s… The Pebble and the Penguin. Rover Dangerfield. Cats Don’t Dance.

  4. sirtmagus Says:

    Don’t forget Troll in Central Park! Or Bebe’s Kids! Or Rockadoodle!

    I liked Anastasia, too. I saw it at the big fat Ziegfeld Theater in Manhattan (same place I saw Blade Runner: The Final Cut last year…mmm…) and it’s one of my favorite theater experiences. The color, the music, the MAJESTY… gosh, I sound like the trailer for Anastasia. It’s definitely my favorite Meg Ryan/John Cusack/Christopher Lloyd movie! :V

  5. John Mora Says:

    Hmmm… Maybe I should see it, too!!!!

  6. Film Walrus Says:

    I actually noticed that the Online Film Critic’s Society put Bebe’s Kids on their top 100 animated films list. I hadn’t previously heard anything good about it, but should I at least give it a shot?

    Rockadoodle, however, I can happily leave in history’s dustbin.

  7. John Mora Says:

    Bebe’s Kids is the affirmative action of animated movies. There’s not much to recommend it, actually.

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