8 PM EST.
Witness the horror unfold.
6:37 PM EST – Oh lawdy. The awards show itself doesn’t even start until 8:30. First we gotta fawn at what everyone’s wearing for half an hour. ABC’s already live on the scene uurrrgghhh.
I wonder what the kids from Slumdog Millionaire are wearing tonight!
7:40 – Oh good, the Barbara Walters Special. Let’s learn all about Mickey Rourke and his dog’s disappointment in him. Insane.
7:43 – Barbara Walters describes X-Men Origins: Wolverine as “one of the most anticipated movies of 2009.” If you still look forward to X-Men movies, I guess. She describes the character as “a sort of moody Elvis.” Hrm. I think I’ll go get dinner now …
7:56 – Oh, be sure to instant message either John Mora (JohnnyMora) or myself (sirtmagus) on AIM to join our live Blahscar Chat Party. I’ll paste the best of your comments into the liveblog. With permission, of course.
8:05 – Brad Pitt couldn’t wait to get away from Tim Gunn. I think I still like Brad Pitt.
8:15 – Anne Hathaway is a mermaid.
“This whole process is pretty juvenile, I think. I cared about this kind of stuff when I was 12. How a person can be one of these reporters is beyond me. It’s like constantly screaming ‘OH MY GOSH THAT’S SO AMAZING’ to every pebble you find in your back yard.”
8:23 – Jack Black was pretty awesome though.
8:30 – Finally. Jazzy Lawrence of Arabia theme music. Okay. HUGE JACK MAN shows up. Most dashing guy. God damn him.
Ouch. A hit at New Zealand. And now an OPENING NUMBER.
“IN HOLLYWOOD YOU DON’T NEED MONEY.”