Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers: The Movie – SMELLS LIKE … TEENAGERS


Currently available on Hulu.com

sirtmagus: OK. I’m ready. MORA. COUNTDOWN TO ADVENTURE.
JohnnyMora: 3
JohnnyMora: 2
sirtmagus: Fox. They’ll release ANYTHING.
JohnnyMora: And cancel it!
marcakamarcman: and then bring it back if it’s stupid enough
JohnnyMora: oh god
sirtmagus: Haha, wait. We already got the text. Do we need the voiceover too?
JohnnyMora: a Star Wars crawl
JohnnyMora: this was aimed at children that were so dumb that they liked Power Rangers
marcakamarcman: they’re trying to be so sincere!
JohnnyMora: they likely couldn’t read
JohnnyMora: Dune has a way better intro explanation~
marcakamarcman: ZORDS
sirtmagus: This was for all the poor parents. “What the hell am I in for– oh.”
JohnnyMora: THE TITLE
marcakamarcman: the title was made out of Puttys aparently
sirtmagus: BULK AND SKULL. The Rosencrantz and Guildenstern of Power Rangers.
JohnnyMora: who WAS this new red ranger loser?!
JohnnyMora: Shit, I can already tell we’re in for the worst acting of our lives
sirtmagus: Oh man, sweet bass line.
JohnnyMora: I love how they all have to wear their colors
JohnnyMora: all the time
JohnnyMora: no matter what
sirtmagus: “Systems, GO!”
marcakamarcman: very subtle guys
JohnnyMora: BANZAI~ ;D
sirtmagus: Pink Ranger… still so… hawt. |:3

marcakamarcman: why is Tommy the only one with a board?
JohnnyMora: he’s the only one EXTREME ENOUGH
sirtmagus: Isn’t he the surfer stereotype of the group?
JohnnyMora: these probably aren’t even the actors
sirtmagus: Prooobably not.
JohnnyMora: they’re all trying to out-douche each other in the air
sirtmagus: Haha yeah! Check out this blue screen– I mean, sky!
JohnnyMora: ;3
JohnnyMora: rear projection’s the beeeeeeest
marcakamarcman: showing the Power Rangers acting skills there: nod a lot while talking
sirtmagus: “Son, quit being a doucher to your dad.”
JohnnyMora: How did they find such awful actors.
marcakamarcman: since when was such a dangerous sport a CHARITY EVENT?
sirtmagus: When the Power Rangers get involved.
JohnnyMora: And how come a bunch of average high schol students are doing this?!
sirtmagus: They’re not average! They’re teenagers with attitude!
JohnnyMora: Everyone’s so jazzed about comets.
marcakamarcman: hmm, wonder if the comet thing is relevent DUN DUN DUUUUN
sirtmagus: “I want my mummy~”
JohnnyMora: Didn’t these losers get used for, like, EVERY American Power Rangers show?
JohnnyMora: Oh my god, the 90s
JohnnyMora: they hurt
sirtmagus: They hurt so good.
sirtmagus: I hope they go to a ROLLER RINK soon.
JohnnyMora: Everything they do is so EXTREME.
sirtmagus: With that Aerosmith arcade game.
marcakamarcman: color cordinated rollerblading is soooo BAAAAD
JohnnyMora: And clean cut!
JohnnyMora: Revolution X?!
sirtmagus: YESSSSSS
JohnnyMora: It was so bad it was good!
marcakamarcman: wonder if this construction site will be relevent DUN DUN DUUUUN
sirtmagus: Did Skull just give that guy permission to go back to work?
JohnnyMora: Why does Bulk have a propeller beanie, he’s like 35.
marcakamarcman: indeed
marcakamarcman: COMMERCIAL BREAK
sirtmagus: Skull has so much clout in the construction field.
sirtmagus: Holy crap, they found a giant Zardoz pog.

marcakamarcman: “Awe-struck Construction worker” their most impressive resume item
sirtmagus: Woooow, a cheap-looking prop!
marcakamarcman: its a fucking egg man
sirtmagus: Filled with delicious grape flavoring.
marcakamarcman: god, Tommys shirt…
marcakamarcman: so 90s
sirtmagus: Oh wow.
sirtmagus: This robot… why would he be in charge of anything.
marcakamarcman: here comes Zordon with the explanation
marcakamarcman: *pokes Mora with Zordons crystals*
sirtmagus: ..?
marcakamarcman: Mooooooooraaaa

sirtmagus: Thanks for explaining the plot, Big Fuzzy Head!
JohnnyMora: looks like they upgraded Zordon’s tube to HD
marcakamarcman: didnt they go right past the egg a minute ago
marcakamarcman: ?
JohnnyMora: nothing that looks like that can be meant for good!
JohnnyMora: OH GOD
sirtmagus: Oh man. This is not how you introduce these characters.
JohnnyMora: How DO you?
marcakamarcman: love that they kept her mis-synced voice
JohnnyMora: Zedd’s a giant bundle of raw muscle :\
JohnnyMora: well
JohnnyMora: they have to
sirtmagus: Why doesn’t his brain have a skull? {:c

marcakamarcman: LETS CRACK THIS EGG
JohnnyMora: The actress is Japanese and doesn’t speak a lick of English ;3
marcakamarcman: oh ho
marcakamarcman: why does the egg have HINGES~?
sirtmagus: For easy portability!
JohnnyMora: A TUB OF SNOT
marcakamarcman: oh wow, 90s CG
JohnnyMora: Rita’s actually kinda pretty in this movie :3
sirtmagus: Now I remember Rita, Zed and Goldar… who’s the pig? Piggo?
JohnnyMora: Yes
JohnnyMora: Ivan Ooze is kinda lame compared to the others, actually
marcakamarcman: he’s handsome for a snot monster
sirtmagus: lol, rita is so impressed by this purple schmuck
JohnnyMora: Who are Zedd’s people, again?
sirtmagus: I… don’t know… He just talks about evil all the time.
JohnnyMora: wait, IS Rita still mis-synced?!
JohnnyMora: she seemed pretty spot-on there
sirtmagus: Like it’s just him and this abstract concept that’s gonna rule the universe.
marcakamarcman: at the start she was
sirtmagus: Ivan, I can relate.
marcakamarcman: TEENAGERS… he’s such a lecherous snot-man
JohnnyMora: Dohohohohoho~
marcakamarcman: of course they arrive seconds(?) too late
sirtmagus: Pink Ranger, hide your shame! :o
JohnnyMora: What is a morphological being–EXACTLY
marcakamarcman: the script said “GASP then pose”
JohnnyMora: Everyone hates him, but no one knows who this jerk is.
JohnnyMora: LOL
JohnnyMora: “Rrrrrreally? [pose]”
marcakamarcman: god IVAN
sirtmagus: I remember that from the trailer.
sirtmagus: Is Ivan… a Looney Tune?
marcakamarcman: pretty much
JohnnyMora: Seriously, what’s Ooze’s personality?
sirtmagus: He’s a prankster grandpa.
JohnnyMora: D:
sirtmagus: Like I expect him to pull quarters out of their ears.
JohnnyMora: Evil quarters.
sirtmagus: Purple quarters.

sirtmagus: ACTION BOY NOW
sirtmagus: ACTION GIRL NOW
JohnnyMora: THIS SONG
marcakamarcman: whats with this music!?
JohnnyMora: I knew this movie had a silly soundtrack, but I forgot how terrible it truly was.
sirtmagus: It’s… the best.
sirtmagus: The ultimate in irony.
JohnnyMora: Did Sam Raimi produce this shit?!
marcakamarcman: OOZE YOU LOSE~
JohnnyMora: Why is Billy so confident and assured in this movie?!
sirtmagus: He… got contact lenses!!
JohnnyMora: Ah.
JohnnyMora: And he has great arms.
marcakamarcman: why didnt they morph earlier?
sirtmagus: MASTODON *insane metal riffs*
JohnnyMora: And it takes a while!
marcakamarcman: SHIT YEAH
JohnnyMora: White Tiger isn’t a dinosaur >:[
sirtmagus: neither’s a mastodon!
JohnnyMora: Think they hired the Japanese stuntmen for this bit?
sirtmagus: “RIGHT!”
marcakamarcman: see, theres that famed Power Ranger acting technnique
JohnnyMora: where is Zordon’s HQ again?
sirtmagus: A tube factory.
JohnnyMora: oh gosh
JohnnyMora: it’s that slime from Ghostbusters II
marcakamarcman: its near Toshi Station
sirtmagus: Samus Aran could save her data in any of those things.
JohnnyMora: Ivan Ooze wants a Vaudeville act
marcakamarcman: Zordon’s like “uuuhhhhhhh”
sirtmagus: Yeah, when is he gonna start juggling?
sirtmagus: So… Zordon trapped Ivan… then who trapped Zordon?
JohnnyMora: Who created God? :V
sirtmagus: …Man.
marcakamarcman: Alpha 5 did of course!
JohnnyMora: dohohohohohoho~
sirtmagus: Noooo, the tubes~
JohnnyMora: Do you think Willem Dafoe took notes on this for Spider-Man 1?
marcakamarcman: noooo, those were very important!
sirtmagus: The power of the Brady Bunch Reunion is… unfathomable.
marcakamarcman: why are they in a parking garage all of a sudden?
sirtmagus: You have it out for Sam Raimi, huh
JohnnyMora: No
JohnnyMora: Just saying.
JohnnyMora: Green Goblin would fit right in here~
sirtmagus: Green Goblin sits atop a higher echelon of goofy villainy!
marcakamarcman: the rangers move so fast that they make whoooshing sounds
JohnnyMora: Cylon visor?!
JohnnyMora: I didn’t see them powering up!
sirtmagus: The purple freaks are made of Juicy Fruit.
marcakamarcman: Powering Up = actually doing something
sirtmagus: Wait… doorbells shouldn’t be sound effects for fight scenes.
JohnnyMora: They always gotta pose and shit with their arms.
marcakamarcman: kinda gory when you think about it…
JohnnyMora: well
JohnnyMora: They don’t act like they have wills of their own, so
JohnnyMora: AUGH
sirtmagus: Exploding purple dudes?
marcakamarcman: WHAT
marcakamarcman: THE
marcakamarcman: FUCK
JohnnyMora: Jesus christ, this fight is so lame

Hey at least the Wachowskis will see us and reimagine us much whiter!

marcakamarcman: I like that his grappling hook just sorta makes him float up there
sirtmagus: Gotta love… what, exactly?
JohnnyMora: And then Tommy with his Liu Kang bicycle kick
sirtmagus: Unnecessary backflipping!
marcakamarcman: totally unnecessary flips there
sirtmagus: JUMPING
JohnnyMora: Tommy’s knife :O
JohnnyMora: It’s…
JohnnyMora: The King of White Lions :3
sirtmagus: Ain’t it a stinker? :3
JohnnyMora: oh nooooo they’re losing powerrr~
sirtmagus: Suddenly, we look fabulous!
sirtmagus: Blue and Red Ranger lost their sleeves. =(
marcakamarcman: “my watch calculator is broken~”
JohnnyMora: I expect Kraid to fly up outta this Zordon pit.
marcakamarcman: the Rangers really liked those tubes
sirtmagus: Zordon is really… HELLRAISER. D:
JohnnyMora: A bed of crystals would actually be very uncomfortable!
marcakamarcman: Zordon’s turning into Uncle Fester
JohnnyMora: … Are these kids orphans or something?
marcakamarcman: EVEN TUBES ARE NO MORE
JohnnyMora: “You were like a faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaather~”
marcakamarcman: I dunno… you never see their parents as far as I can recall
sirtmagus: “Alpha, how come YOU survive?!” >:\
JohnnyMora: Kimberly is so concerned she’s ignoring CP3O
marcakamarcman: Alpha 5: subliminally making your kids gay since ’95
JohnnyMora: CP3O: Doing the same since ’77
marcakamarcman: sure you are Tommy
sirtmagus: Is CP3O C3PO’s stupid younger brother? :V
sirtmagus: The rangers ride rainbows through space?
JohnnyMora: I love Rita’s insults :3
sirtmagus: Whoa, we’re on a music video set.
marcakamarcman: Ooze changes his voice every few lines it seems
JohnnyMora: ughhhh noooo, i like Zedd and Rita way more than Ivan :c
sirtmagus: Goldar knows what’s up.
marcakamarcman: the Pig is Mordant by the way
JohnnyMora: of course
sirtmagus: naturally.
marcakamarcman: that snot is really compelling
JohnnyMora: NOOOOOOO
JohnnyMora: TENGU
marcakamarcman: Tengoo that is~!
marcakamarcman: bwahahah
JohnnyMora: hachachachacha~
sirtmagus: So his one power is to make incompetent cretins with his bodily fluids.
marcakamarcman: god, they can barely fly even
JohnnyMora: Every guy has that power. \:3
sirtmagus: …!!

sirtmagus: This isn’t Dagobah.
JohnnyMora: This music is trying really hard to get us to be impressed with the shores of Canada.
sirtmagus: The last surviving Canadian. :c
sirtmagus: …who… didn’t survive.
marcakamarcman: he still has his bluetooth on at least
sirtmagus: Spiral wipe!
marcakamarcman: ooooh OMINOUS HOODED FIGURE
JohnnyMora: “Would you like me to make a few CAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWLS then?!”
sirtmagus: Mordant, what do you need that monocle for
JohnnyMora: Turn them into ZOMBIES?
JohnnyMora: Does he REALLY mean zombies?!
marcakamarcman: Ectomorphicons. they just threw some words together to get that one
sirtmagus: Maybe he means the classic mind-control version of zombies?
JohnnyMora: D:<
sirtmagus: Pinwheel wipe~
JohnnyMora: lol
sirtmagus: “OK, now hop across these rocks for this shot.”
JohnnyMora: how’d they get that wave to crash like that >:3
marcakamarcman: an epic movie needs EPIC WIPES
marcakamarcman: how did they get there so fast? they fly like 3mph
sirtmagus: “Let’s move! By move I mean somersault!”
marcakamarcman: and then stay in place
JohnnyMora: How are they any less powerful when they can’t morph?!
sirtmagus: The movie’s message: Always appreciate morphin’.
JohnnyMora: oh geez, it’s Red Sonja :O
sirtmagus: YES.
sirtmagus: A lingerie model who who puts the Power Rangers to shame.
marcakamarcman: yeah, swing those pipes baby~
JohnnyMora: {:3

marcakamarcman: she was on LOST you know
sirtmagus: Y’know… I saw this. In theaters. And I don’t remember any of this.
JohnnyMora: I saw this… on video x3
JohnnyMora: and i get it confused with TURBO
marcakamarcman: HA you just failed Tommy
sirtmagus: I must have been a real meth head in my youth.
sirtmagus: Wait, marc, who was this lovely vixen on Lost?
JohnnyMora: yeahhh, who D:<
sirtmagus: “Alpha, bring me my fuzzy bath foam~”
marcakamarcman: she was either Claire’s aunt or the crazy lady
JohnnyMora: I wouldn’t buy shit from this guy.
marcakamarcman: only in 2 episodes
JohnnyMora: She was no.
JohnnyMora: er
JohnnyMora: Not
marcakamarcman: we can check later
sirtmagus: lol
sirtmagus: Effeminate older kid LOVES Ivan’s Ooze.
JohnnyMora: I bet he does ;3~
marcakamarcman: god, the kids of Angel Grove are a bunch of shits

JohnnyMora: This planet is nothing but rock paths.
JohnnyMora: Why does it call for such grand music?!
sirtmagus: From Canada’s shores… to Australia’s outback!
JohnnyMora: “This… is our soundstage.”
marcakamarcman: “we have to hurry! so lets walk — not run — through this montage”
JohnnyMora: Ninejti?
JohnnyMora: er
JohnnyMora: Ninjeti? {:3
JohnnyMora: This guy has the most expensive house.
marcakamarcman: is he a firefighter or something?
sirtmagus: He must have the POWER OF THE UNIVERSE.
marcakamarcman: WHY SMELL IT
marcakamarcman: why even touch it
sirtmagus: why even care
JohnnyMora: He had to make sure it was safe for his kid~
marcakamarcman: all the parents did it seems
marcakamarcman: at the same time
sirtmagus: “Alpha, turn up the 7/11 concave mirror!”
JohnnyMora: “Let’s get sticky~”
marcakamarcman: see, Lecherous old snot-man
sirtmagus: What a cad.
sirtmagus: Hm. This movie certainly does go on.
JohnnyMora: and it’s only 90 minutes long
sirtmagus: IT FEELS LONGER D:}}
JohnnyMora: Ohhhh… was the point of this movie to transition into the next sentai series?
marcakamarcman: they brought some of it over, yes
sirtmagus: Like the Transformers animated movie!
marcakamarcman: woo, ninja costumes all of the sudden
JohnnyMora: This does the same appropriation of Asian martial arts and mythology shit that MK did.
sirtmagus: But wasn’t this originally a Japanese thing anyway?
JohnnyMora: Black girl’s so happy to be a bear.
JohnnyMora: Johnny Yong Bosch~~~~
sirtmagus: “I’m a frog.” {:c
marcakamarcman: aka Renton, aka Lelouch, aka Nero

JohnnyMora: He got a kiss out of sulking, not a bad move~
sirtmagus: Vash is such a stud.
marcakamarcman: especially in that costume~
JohnnyMora: especially not in that outfit
marcakamarcman: :3
sirtmagus: oh… nevermind. she’s friggin’ Hedwig.
JohnnyMora: ;3
marcakamarcman: EVEN SEXIER
JohnnyMora: Kid doesn’t feel like playing with his ooze anymore?!
marcakamarcman: shes an Owl Ninjetti I guess
JohnnyMora: You know who else was a snow owl?
JohnnyMora: …Bowie~
sirtmagus: He heard Ooze 2 was gonna come out in November.
marcakamarcman: this is the scene for the parents I guess…?
sirtmagus: This dancing guy… the greatest sport in the history of film.
sirtmagus: SQUAWK SQUAWK
sirtmagus: :V
JohnnyMora: AUGH
sirtmagus: Did one of them do a John Wayne thing?
marcakamarcman: YES
sirtmagus: OK. So I’m not going mad.
JohnnyMora: Sticks? FUCK! My one weakness~~~
sirtmagus: LOL
JohnnyMora: LOL
sirtmagus: Best part. Can’t top that.
JohnnyMora: I’m… I’m trying to get control of myself after that!
JohnnyMora: “Let’s just stare at that mountain guys~”
sirtmagus: Nothing like getting vaporized by your perpetually rhyming creator!
marcakamarcman: lets see how many scenes of Tommy and Kimberly standing next to each other we can have
marcakamarcman: they said that like 20 minutes ago
marcakamarcman: how much time can he have~
JohnnyMora: this doesn’t seem to be a quick method of excavation
marcakamarcman: I like how he’s wearing a Newport Beach shirt in Angel Grove
JohnnyMora: so uh
JohnnyMora: What is Goldar?
sirtmagus: i… UM… a sphinx?
marcakamarcman: the kid doesnt seem all that phased by Goldar and Mordant
JohnnyMora: HORNYTAUR?!
JohnnyMora: That sounds filthy.
sirtmagus: Sigh. Maybe Dragonball: Evolution WAS better than this.
marcakamarcman: so the Grove is slightly below the Universe in importance
JohnnyMora: …WHAT
JohnnyMora: I refuse to believe that
sirtmagus: Hey, I don’t even know anymore…
marcakamarcman: BONE DINO
sirtmagus: Well hey, wait. A bone monster? Okay, I can get behind this! Yeahh!!
marcakamarcman: Rocky: incompetent as usual
JohnnyMora: The most awkwardly moving bone monster
sirtmagus: It’s not CG!
JohnnyMora: She only asks for help from Tommy >:\
marcakamarcman: couldnt you sense all the sexual tension between the two earlier!?
JohnnyMora: they just ignore Billy’s quips
sirtmagus: Kinda like how I’m ignoring Billy’s quips!
JohnnyMora: How does this kid keep sneaking in places?!
marcakamarcman: what, they gotta put it together after exavating it!?
marcakamarcman: what a gyp
JohnnyMora: They don’t make good henchmen anymore
sirtmagus: Do they even make henchmen anymore?
JohnnyMora: hmmmmm
marcakamarcman: why didnt he just make giant ooze monsters instead?
JohnnyMora: because
sirtmagus: He tried that!!
JohnnyMora: we’ve all seen how those turn out >:\
sirtmagus: He goes QUACK and kills them.
sirtmagus: “Hey guys check out this matte painting!”
JohnnyMora: Marcman’s right, he should do that again :3
sirtmagus: Hm. If it provides more LAFFS.
JohnnyMora: I want Ivan Ooze to sing and dance to Anything Goes.
marcakamarcman: has Rocky had a single non-one-liner yet?
sirtmagus: Rocky just sorta juts his jaw out at the camera.
JohnnyMora: Rocky’s the red one?
marcakamarcman: yeah
JohnnyMora: All I remember about him is how he had a pachinko episode.
JohnnyMora: Well
sirtmagus: oh no, a whole bunch D:
JohnnyMora: They’re dressed appropriately, at least.
marcakamarcman: OH SHI- they cut his costume. ITS ON NOW
sirtmagus: Oh good. The movie’s 57th dumb fight scene.
marcakamarcman: of course the girl trips
sirtmagus: Guess I’ll do another load of laundry…
marcakamarcman: BOTH DO
JohnnyMora: …oh god, I forgot I had laundry D:
JohnnyMora: it’s sitting there all weeeeeet
marcakamarcman: finally Rocky says a line
marcakamarcman: and then another one liner
sirtmagus: I wanna see what Bulk and Skull are up to!
JohnnyMora: Exploring haunted mansions or something, I’m sure.
sirtmagus: That sounds waaaay more interesting!
JohnnyMora: barely

JohnnyMora: LOL, that tree branch
JohnnyMora: bounced like cardboard
marcakamarcman: they’ve been gone for 50 fucking minutes by this point
sirtmagus: Yeah, seriously. There should be a Bulk and Skull scene here.
JohnnyMora: Yeahhhh, I agree
sirtmagus: I can only stand so many corny one-liners.
marcakamarcman: how does he pull that shit without powers?
JohnnyMora: Tommy’s allllll about breaking the rules
JohnnyMora: in a family friendly way!
sirtmagus: Gasp, it’s the automated dead leaf collector
JohnnyMora: It’s a symbol of their new pagan religion~
marcakamarcman: lets stare at this rock for 5 minutes guys~
sirtmagus: It’s the ultimate in Public Works technology!
sirtmagus: Whoooaa, look at all the NOTHING flying around us!
JohnnyMora: {{{{{{:3
JohnnyMora: they
JohnnyMora: don’t really look different
sirtmagus: at all, really.
marcakamarcman: all that work for the same damn outfit
sirtmagus: “Good luck, Rangers~ I remember the babe~”
JohnnyMora: what babe?
marcakamarcman: god, this CG
marcakamarcman: why didnt they just do Kaiju for the movie??? {:3
JohnnyMora: seriously
JohnnyMora: this is embarrassing

JohnnyMora: wow
JohnnyMora: Ivan Ooze is treating Goldar way better than the other guys
sirtmagus: “Ugh, Alpha, change the channel to Gargoyles, will you~”
marcakamarcman: Goldar – brown-noser of the 90’s
marcakamarcman: INCONCEIVABLE~
sirtmagus: Ivan Ooze should’a been a perfume maker with that schnoz of his.
JohnnyMora: Oh gosh, yes~
JohnnyMora: Where’s the military?
JohnnyMora: or at the least the police?
marcakamarcman: MILITARY? IN ANGEL GROVE!?!?
marcakamarcman: no such thing
marcakamarcman: I like that they all wait for the zords to come
marcakamarcman: instead of you know… KILLING THEM
JohnnyMora: What was the point in having individual ZORDs if they’re only ever used to transform into the MEGAZORD?
sirtmagus: Well, how did Voltron do it?!
JohnnyMora: I can’t remember {:3
sirtmagus: Me neither. :c
marcakamarcman: NICE STEREO
marcakamarcman: says the girl of course
sirtmagus: or a FROG
sirtmagus: OR MASTODON
JohnnyMora: LOL
JohnnyMora: this song
sirtmagus: The… THEME song.
JohnnyMora: I remember when the movie first came out, FOX had a big primetime premiere of this music video.
marcakamarcman: for 70 fucking minutes, Bulk and Skull have been doing this boring shit!?!?
sirtmagus: “Hey, everyone! Listen up! You all think this is one big party, don’t you… well where’s BULK AND SKULL?”
JohnnyMora: Excavating South American ruins.
sirtmagus: !!!
sirtmagus: I want THAT movie
JohnnyMora: You just want Laurel and Hardy.
JohnnyMora: Well, just wait.
sirtmagus: ;3
JohnnyMora: Hollywood will remake it soon enough.
JohnnyMora: and he doesn’t even sound excited enough to go Yeeha!
sirtmagus: Wow. These graphics… barely Playstation 1 caliber.
marcakamarcman: fucking Legacy of Kain had better CG

JohnnyMora: THERE they are.
JohnnyMora: Hanging out with kids 20 years younger.
JohnnyMora: GOLDAR
marcakamarcman: all Angel Grove consist of is Parents, Kids, the Power Rangers, and Bulk and Skull
sirtmagus: Bulk and Skull get their own representation on the city council.
JohnnyMora: They’re their own representation :3
JohnnyMora: LOL
sirtmagus: Exactly!
JohnnyMora: Ivan Ooze is just LAZY about taking over the world.
sirtmagus: Yeah, why doesn’t he take a more proactive role?
sirtmagus: He just leaves it to robots and birds.
JohnnyMora: That thing blew up before the rockets hit it!
marcakamarcman: why didnt he just use the rockets earlier?
sirtmagus: Didn’t look like he needed six either!
marcakamarcman: no sparks when the ape slides on the pavement
marcakamarcman: way to go
JohnnyMora: The mantis whimpers like a dog?!
marcakamarcman: oh god
JohnnyMora: AUGH
sirtmagus: PARASITE EVE

marcakamarcman: see LECHEROUS
marcakamarcman: he’s face-raping the mantis
JohnnyMora: Where’s the pig?
sirtmagus: Wow… these… CGI effects… really make me appreciate The Mummy Returns a whole lot more.
marcakamarcman: why does Angel Grove even exist? it got destroyed every week!
sirtmagus: Maybe Lilith is hidden underneath it.
marcakamarcman: this was before they knew how to render shadows it seems
JohnnyMora: This looks so goddamn ugly.
sirtmagus: oh my god. the look on my face.
JohnnyMora: Bionicles is probably better.

marcakamarcman: lol at Bulk and Skull just sitting there with their mouths open
sirtmagus: They really got shafted in this movie. >:\
JohnnyMora: At least this isn’t TURBO
sirtmagus: “Good luck riding the monorail, kids!”
marcakamarcman: the model they threw through the building looks better than the CG!
marcakamarcman: I know!
sirtmagus: “Good idea! Set a course for outerspace for some reason!”
sirtmagus: Sleep to our doom…
marcakamarcman: why are there purple lights everywhere?
sirtmagus: Bet Ivan installed them. Guy has terrrrrible taste.
marcakamarcman: Bulk and Skull: always first to be picked for saving the city
marcakamarcman: remember that comet we mentiond 80 minutes ago? yeah, lets use that
sirtmagus: derp. :V
sirtmagus: That’s one racist kid.
marcakamarcman: they buzzed Rita’s place for some reason
sirtmagus: This…
marcakamarcman: “We’re Imploding!” yeah, that doesnt happen in space guys
JohnnyMora: they kneed Ivan in the groin
JohnnyMora: using the emergency button
marcakamarcman: knee’d him in the OOOZETACLES
JohnnyMora: i’m
JohnnyMora: speechless
sirtmagus: The emegency “dick joke” button.
sirtmagus: SKULL! Bulk! We have come to terms.
marcakamarcman: thats all they get!?
JohnnyMora: yep
marcakamarcman: maybe if they hurried the fuck up earlier they might have been okay!
JohnnyMora: lol
sirtmagus: Oh, chin up, Rangers. Just get a new overgrown raisin in a garbage bag.
JohnnyMora: Adam doesn’t look too guilty.
marcakamarcman: did- did you learn that Tommy?
JohnnyMora: Snow Owl gave him some
JohnnyMora: after school tutoring~
sirtmagus: How to pick off field mice.
marcakamarcman: yay, they fixxed the pipes!
JohnnyMora: Way to not teach kids about the finality of death.
JohnnyMora: They’re gonna take it great when Grandpa dies.
sirtmagus: GRANDPA CAN’T DIE
marcakamarcman: he sounds so much more upbeat now
marcakamarcman: I GOT THE POWER
marcakamarcman: Bulk and Skull: precious treasures of Angel Grove
sirtmagus: Oh man, SEAFOOD.
JohnnyMora: …what are they eating
sirtmagus: They know how to celebrate.
JohnnyMora: Tommy has the worst hair.
marcakamarcman: cut your fucking hair Tommy, ya hippy
marcakamarcman: “anythings possible… when you’re Tommy”
JohnnyMora: Too bad someone else became the next ranger~~~
marcakamarcman: who was also a little shit kid
JohnnyMora: Because the rest of the cast turned into little kids.
marcakamarcman: and now fireworks, after the city got destroyed and all
sirtmagus: Happy Fourth of Jul– oh. Thank you, Power Rangers.
JohnnyMora: maybe they just joined hands around the city
marcakamarcman: thanks Bryan Spicer!!
JohnnyMora: So that’s who to blame.
sirtmagus: I always use an extra pinch of bryan spicer in all my cooking.
JohnnyMora: Executive powder? :3
sirtmagus: Hey, a coda!
marcakamarcman: theres Mordant
JohnnyMora: Yaaayyy, Goldar~
marcakamarcman: THAT FUCKING SONG
sirtmagus: OK. Now I mute this.
JohnnyMora: lol
JohnnyMora: NO WAY
JohnnyMora: This song’s great
JohnnyMora: I want the other song on the soundtrack, too
sirtmagus: OTHER song?
JohnnyMora: I gotta see if it’s in the credits.
JohnnyMora: That ACTION BOY song
sirtmagus: Oh. OH.
sirtmagus: THAT song is great!
marcakamarcman: ACTION BOY~ ACTION GIRL~
sirtmagus: This is the poopy poser version of that song!
JohnnyMora: I agree
JohnnyMora: but it got prime time FOX attention!
JohnnyMora: :B
sirtmagus: I mean… is there anything worse than children singing?
JohnnyMora: Are these children?
sirtmagus: …Aren’t they?! :c
marcakamarcman: Australian children
marcakamarcman: i guess
JohnnyMora: Now it’s Sega CD music
marcakamarcman: This movie was so epic
marcakamarcman: Then I realized I was a stupid little kid
JohnnyMora: Yeah
sirtmagus: Yup.
JohnnyMora: I looooooved watching Power Rangers as a kid
JohnnyMora: I thought it was EPIC when the ZORDs were destroyed the first time.
sirtmagus: I watched it but I couldn’t tell you ANYTHING that happened.
marcakamarcman: same here
marcakamarcman: its all a blur to me now
JohnnyMora: I liked the Power Rangers way past what would be considered the acceptable age to like them.
sirtmagus: Or even who was who or when or why people left and joined. Like, wasn’t an Asian girl the Yellow Ranger for a while?
JohnnyMora: yes
JohnnyMora: She was the first one
JohnnyMora: I thiiiiiink… they just left and that was that?
JohnnyMora: The cast they used for this got turned into little kids and people replaced them, I think
sirtmagus: Oh. So there was no story to explain the departures?
JohnnyMora: And Billy got to turn into an adult when he was a Ranger.
sirtmagus: Huh.
marcakamarcman: there might have been some slapdash story tie in too
JohnnyMora: I can’t recall!
JohnnyMora: Oh man
JohnnyMora: Why WEREN’T they the Tengoo warriors?!
JohnnyMora: That would have been a perfect pun!
JohnnyMora: Shit, this song
JohnnyMora: Made from Alpha’s catchphrase.
marcakamarcman: the only thing I really remember is that Tommy was the DASHING ROGUE Green Ranger initally
JohnnyMora: yes
JohnnyMora: He was initially evil
sirtmagus: Ohhh yeah.
JohnnyMora: Because Rita Repulsa was controlling/manipulating him

JohnnyMora: And he had that sweet dagger he whisted into
sirtmagus: OHHH GOD.
marcakamarcman: SHIIIT
sirtmagus: *retrieves the Death Note* AUUUGGHHHHH
marcakamarcman: I remember that
JohnnyMora: Red Hot Chili Peppers?!
JohnnyMora: They Might Be Giants?!
JohnnyMora: VAN HALEN?
marcakamarcman: so this movie was filmed intirely in and around Australia if you didnt notice
sirtmagus: Why end your movie’s credits with the ALPHA SONG
JohnnyMora: Kids like him?
sirtmagus: I knew some of the locales reminded me of Road Warrior!
marcakamarcman: THANKS FOX
JohnnyMora: I don’t any sort of quality assurance was employed in the release of this movie.
JohnnyMora: *doubt
sirtmagus: Eh, Fox still doesn’t care about quality assurance.

sirtmagus: WELL. That was dumb.
JohnnyMora: Hey, at least it wasn’t TURBO: A Power Rangers Movie.
marcakamarcman: So, Ooze. Worst villain ever, or secret-BEST villain!?
JohnnyMora: He needed more henchmen to destroy.
marcakamarcman: that’s probably the highlight scene of this movie
marcakamarcman: the only reason to really watch it
sirtmagus: Yeahhh.
sirtmagus: That was really the only time I could say I “enjoyed” the movie.
sirtmagus: Killing bird people.
JohnnyMora: This was awful childish claptrap~
marcakamarcman: yeah, everything turned out okay in the end, no one died or was injured
marcakamarcman: even though buildings got destroyed
JohnnyMora: Ivan Ooze was injured!
marcakamarcman: then again, the show was like that too
marcakamarcman: but he’s made of OOOOOZE
JohnnyMora: Ooze is people too.
marcakamarcman: Ooze that exploded like the Death Star
sirtmagus: His characterization was certainly… consistent, huh? :V
marcakamarcman: In that he was a cartoon character? yeah
JohnnyMora: He was really apathetic on the whole effort of taking over the world.
sirtmagus: Cartoons are better than this though.
marcakamarcman: he chewed- I mean… OOZED all of the scenery
sirtmagus: Didja know Gargoyles was meant to COMPETE with Power Rangers?
JohnnyMora: he didn’t even try that hard to chew scenery
JohnnyMora: Gargoyles was ten times better than this
JohnnyMora: oh wait
JohnnyMora: that’d still be zero :V
sirtmagus: x3

sirtmagus: But Power Rangers was incredibly successful.
marcakamarcman: Gargoyles was serious, just like the original shows Rangers was based on was
JohnnyMora: And even I couldn’t tell you what made it so alluring.
sirtmagus: I’m… also drawing a blank.
sirtmagus: The colors?
marcakamarcman: maybe because kids didnt have much in the way of live-action shows beyond the more kiddy stuff?
JohnnyMora: Yeah but
sirtmagus: Ah. Yeah.
JohnnyMora: this was incredibly kiddy
marcakamarcman: or the ridculous fighting
JohnnyMora: Maybe it was the fighting, yeah
JohnnyMora: although
marcakamarcman: oh yeah, not a single putty in the movie
JohnnyMora: i don’t even think i liked the fighting as a kid {:\
marcakamarcman: whats up with that?
JohnnyMora: Putties belonged to Zedd.
JohnnyMora: Who was a walking pile of exposed muscle and brains.
JohnnyMora: That’s gotta sting.
marcakamarcman: yeah, how’d they get away with that on TV back then?
sirtmagus: *pours hydrogen peroxide all over zed*
marcakamarcman: oooooow
sirtmagus: There. He is defeated.
marcakamarcman: he’d be fizzing as long as this movie went on for
JohnnyMora: And Rita Repulsa was…
JohnnyMora: stunning :3
marcakamarcman: she looked better than I remember
sirtmagus: I remember watching it to find out what happened to the characters… at least in Tommy’s case. Switching sides? How COOL!
JohnnyMora: Yeah, the arc was enjoyed by me, too
sirtmagus: And yeah, Rita… I guess I couldn’t appreciate her good looks back then. {:3

JohnnyMora: Except it was a Sailor Moon sort of thing where the story moved forward once every 40 episodes
JohnnyMora: ah
marcakamarcman: exactly
JohnnyMora: the English voice of Rita was also… the voice of Naota :3
sirtmagus: …WAAAAAAT
JohnnyMora: http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/encyclopedia/people.php?id=530
JohnnyMora: YUP
sirtmagus: So everyone went into anime voice work afterwards?!

marcakamarcman: there were quite a few lines from Johnny that had me hearing Vash or Renton
JohnnyMora: She’s also PM Kayabuki
sirtmagus: Oh… oh MY.
sirtmagus: No wonder she’s so attractive!
JohnnyMora: no, not the Japanese actress
JohnnyMora: The English voice >:V
sirtmagus: STILL
JohnnyMora: hmm
JohnnyMora: perhaps you have a point~
marcakamarcman: so Dulcea was also the ridiculous Aussie reporter from Mr. Nice Guy
marcakamarcman: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0280521/
JohnnyMora: Hmm…
marcakamarcman: And she was on LOST like I said
sirtmagus: Well, well
marcakamarcman: her outfit in this movie was for all the Fathers
sirtmagus: Look at the cast of Lost expert!
sirtmagus: Oh, totally.
JohnnyMora: ;3
JohnnyMora: And the 13 year olds in the audience
sirtmagus: She did her sit-ups!
JohnnyMora: And vomiting!
sirtmagus: \:3
JohnnyMora: Gotta lose those last five pounds for Power Rangers~
sirtmagus: Speaking of vomiting,
sirtmagus: how well does this movie represent… an ERA?
JohnnyMora: Not as well as Clueless
JohnnyMora: Which came out the same year.
marcakamarcman: lets see… shitty music, ridiculous outfits, horrible CG
JohnnyMora: Hmm, Bryan Spicer also did… McHales Navy. :S
marcakamarcman: :o
JohnnyMora: And was relegated to TV shows for the rest of his life~
sirtmagus: Hrm. Fitting!
marcakamarcman: I would have stuck him with music videos after this
JohnnyMora: Do kids these days have better options for entertainment?
sirtmagus: Oh, fuck yeah.
sirtmagus: THE INTERNET.
JohnnyMora: D:
marcakamarcman: well, they’ve still got Power Rangers
JohnnyMora: After what it’s done to YOU?
sirtmagus: Hey, I’m not alone here!
sirtmagus: We’ve all been molested by its tendrils!
marcakamarcman: either of you caught glimpses of the more recent series’?
sirtmagus: Can’t say I have.
JohnnyMora: Nnnnnnope
JohnnyMora: After their masks changed to, like, stars and equal signs and shit, I stopped watching.
marcakamarcman: lets see, one of them had a ninja hampster as the Rangers’ teacher
JohnnyMora: I think I did see something on Youtube where they fought the Ninja Turtles, though.
marcakamarcman: I saw that briefly and said, “wow, still as inane as back then”
marcakamarcman: yeah, there was a crossover when they tried a live action Turtles show
sirtmagus: Last I saw was some big Red Ranger reunion on YouTube.
sirtmagus: Power Rangers: Fanfiction Edition.
JohnnyMora: {:[
JohnnyMora: like
marcakamarcman: “Forever Red” it was called
JohnnyMora: Is Jonny Yong Bosch the only successful guy from that group?
marcakamarcman: pretty much
marcakamarcman: Tommy has been in the most seasons though, coming back as a mentor ranger I think
JohnnyMora: yeah
JohnnyMora: because
JohnnyMora: he couldn’t let go
sirtmagus: Tommy’s the Career Ranger, eh.
marcakamarcman: but of course Bulk and Skull beat them all!
marcakamarcman: man those guys
JohnnyMora: Laurel and Hardy
sirtmagus: Don’t they teach acting somewhere now?!

JohnnyMora: I wouldn’t take a lesson from them!!
JohnnyMora: I’d walk in the door, see them, and walk straight back out.
JohnnyMora: Meryl Streep can teach acting.
marcakamarcman: Bulk was on Mega64 recently I think
JohnnyMora: Zach Galifianakis can teach acting
JohnnyMora: |:3
JohnnyMora: Bulk and Skull cannot
sirtmagus: Aw, they were best friends in real life. {:3
JohnnyMora: {{{{{:3
sirtmagus: And they directed some episodes too!
JohnnyMora: AUTEURS
marcakamarcman: yup
JohnnyMora: I guess when you’re on there for 13 years you start demanding anything you want.
sirtmagus: And why not!
sirtmagus: Might as well make something of it.
marcakamarcman: they are somewhat endearing
marcakamarcman: and the movie would have been much better with more of them frankly
JohnnyMora: kinda
JohnnyMora: Why were they hanging out with the Rangers on a plane?
sirtmagus: It would’ve been nice had the script been better.
JohnnyMora: lol, really?
marcakamarcman: they had all of 4 lines. meanwhile the Rangers are spending 60 minutes walking through a Jungle
sirtmagus: I got enough against goofy costumes and comets and henchmen as long as it’s clever!
JohnnyMora: Like Transformers? :V
sirtmagus: I regret nothing.

I ... am Optimus Prime. My animated movie is still the gold standard for entertaining, goofy bullshit!

JohnnyMora: well
JohnnyMora: that was an evening, boys
marcakamarcman: by the way, what was the name of the ripoff that came out awhile later about Cyberspace or something?
JohnnyMora: there were big bad beetleborgs
JohnnyMora: with that horrible ghost named Flubber
marcakamarcman: that was later, also ridiculous
sirtmagus: OH MAN.
sirtmagus: Jay Leno Ghost.
JohnnyMora: yup
marcakamarcman: AH-HA
marcakamarcman: Superhuman Samurai Syber-Squad
sirtmagus: yeah, i remember there being a few
marcakamarcman: and then there was the medivel themed one in the early 2000s
marcakamarcman: anyway, enough of that

One Response to “Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers: The Movie – SMELLS LIKE … TEENAGERS”

  1. Terry Says:

    The only part of the movie I remembered is Johnny Yong Bosch dejectedly saying, “I’m a frog.”

    I totally forgot that Ivan Ooze was W.C. Fields.

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