Grump Talk: Listen to How an Idiot Plays Mega Man

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This is going to be part of a new shift in how we do things here at Grump Factory. Real life gets in the way of perfecting the lovingly-crafted articles you’re used to reading here, and I feel guilty not having more content up in regular intervals, so we’ve decided to add some more traditional blog-like posts with short rants or snippets of opinions on stuff we probably won’t ever talk about in-depth. In other words: Grump Talk.

And today I’m focusing on my nemesis, Mega Man.

You might remember my scathing, incendiary piece on Mega Man 9 a few years ago. Back then I couldn’t even get past the third elephant on the stage! I was so upset about the unfairness of the obstacles in the game that I gave up on it for a long time. But then boredom set in one day, I tried it again and figured out the pattern of the elephant and got to the end of the demo! Amazing! I still wasn’t in love with the damn thing, but I was more curious and open-minded to exploring the franchise that millions of people so obviously love, so I decided to download the Mega Man 10 demo when that rolled around and found myself not having as difficult a time as I had been before. I had even picked up the stupidly cheap Prinny platformer inbetween, and got pretty far! Maybe I could lick this thing, yet!

So I decided to buy Mega Man Anniversary Collection for the PS2 and figure out what I’d been missing, and see if I could discover what makes Mega Man such a video game icon after all this time. I started out with Cut Man because, I dunno, I wanted to! I’m not having too much trouble with the stage, some familiarly cheap enemies, but nothing that sent me raging. I actually got to Cut Man on my first continue, only to get killed by his weapon after I’d already killed him. WHAT. That shouldn’t be allowed to happen! Why doesn’t his blade disappear after he dies?! I had to start everything all over again and continue the stage from the beginning. I was seething, but promised myself I’d give the game a try until I’d at least beaten one robot master. So I clawed my way back and beat him FOR REAL this time BECAUSE APPARENTLY YOU CAN BEAT THEM AND STILL LOSE. I got a little pinwheel thing! Great!

So then I pushed my luck and tried out Bomb Man’s stage. Again, not too many parts of the level that pissed me off, except for those little armored things that fly around and shoot in all eight directions. Seems a bit cheap, if you ask me! I fall down into Bomb Man’s pit and beat him on the first try. This isn’t so bad!

But I’m noticing some things. First of all, Mega Man slides after he lands from a jump, and I hate it when platformers do this. Secondly, I haven’t used any weapon besides my Mega Buster yet, and I wonder if I will ever feel the need to. Most things die in three hits from it. I don’t really feel the need to experiment with stuff yet, and I wonder if I’m just missing the point of the game. I don’t like firing them willy-nilly because they require energy…

This may become a thing, folks! Stay tuned!

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2 Responses to “Grump Talk: Listen to How an Idiot Plays Mega Man”

  1. Rick Says:

    I’m just amused by the continuing adventures of Mora in the lands of Mega Man because you’re so adamantly against it but still subjecting yourself to it. As you should. ~

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