Archive for June, 2010

E3 Day One: Stranger in a Strange Land

June 25, 2010

DISCLAIMER: Does not actually change anything.

For someone who grew up seeing E3 through the pages of EGM and later through the web pages of IGN you’d think it’d be a dream come true to actually be there at the Candyland of video games. Well, let me tell ya. It was an exhausting, mind numbing experience. Sensory overload the likes of which I’ve rarely seen, felt, smelled, touched or heard. Remember that episode of Batman Beyond where the bad guy goes deaf from the all the sounds of the city piercing his brain all at once and he screams in agony from it all?

Sorry, I got Batman Beyond on the mind since that Splice review. Great show.

But anyway, that was me. For three days! Surrounded by sweating nerds, servile booth babes and sycophantic industry types in a bombed out section of L.A. no one wants to be in, except for this one giant convention. Seriously, otherwise the place is a ghost town, which is a very weird (and scary) place to be in coming from New York friggin’ City.

Not that any of that matters really. E3 is about one thing: games. Lots and lots of games. And I got my grubby hands on all of them. Well, a lot of them. Not all of them. Off the bat I’ll say I missed Zelda: Skyward Sword, Marvel vs. Capcom 3 and Microsoft’s and Sony’s Wii-too nonsense. So if you’re looking for the umpteenth amount of armchair punditry for those — whoops. This is just one simple chump’s first visit to E3, trying to find something that wasn’t a derivative arm-waving simulator or a FPS about shooting foreigners.

But boy, does that Move controller look like a luminescent dildo or what?


Splice – Sugar, Spice and Everything …

June 13, 2010

… Everything awful! Jeez! What a movie Splice turned out to be.

Scientists/lovers, Elsa (Sarah Polley) and Clive (Adrian Brody, in the first movie I ever liked him in), break laws and bends morals to create the Ultimate Being, Dren, a cocktail creature consisting of various animal DNA including human. A modern day Frankenstein’s monster born of hubris and just plain craziness (science? feh!) , Elsa asks of its birth — frequently — “What’s the worst that could happen?”


Grump Talk – Saturn Setback

June 10, 2010

So after I actually started trying to play my pile of Sega, I ran into some problems. Panzer Dragoon Saga would either not boot up at all or boot up and then crash randomly. The low point was when I finally figured out how to defeat a tricky boss, then the game froze and crashed at the victory screen.

So of course I wanted to find out if the problem lay with the disc or with the system’s laser lens. All of the games I initially bought worked well… mostly. D had a little bit of trouble booting up the first time I popped it in and Albert Odyssey froze once at the beginning of a random battle, but I thought those were flukes since I couldn’t repeat it. But now, I saw a more sinister pattern. So I popped in my other games. The Legend of Oasis started up just fine, but Shining Force III couldn’t even make it to the title screen.

So the only choice left to me was to attempt emulation to see if the problem was in the Saturn’s laser lens. I went shopping around for one that would let me boot up from the CD and it seems that 99% of Saturn emulators are abandoned at the alpha stage or emulate the CPU but not necessarily the games(?!). I FINALLY found one that seemed to fit the bill and popped in Panzer Dragoon Saga. Flawlessly booted up, several times. Popped in Shining Force III. Booted up just fine.

I’m lookin’ at youuuuuuuuuuu, Saturn.

So thankfully this still falls within the 30 day return policy the store had on the console, so I’m gonna return it (and ask to keep the friggin’ battery) and hunt for a Saturn that actually… y’know… works. There’s gonna be a delay in further landings on Saturn~

Grump Talk – SEGA PILE

June 9, 2010

Favorite Films and Video Games of 2009

June 7, 2010

We’re halfway through 2010! You know what that means!

Time for another shitty overdue list!


D: Dial D for Distinct

June 3, 2010

There were several reasons why I decided to get a Sega Saturn, and one of them was to experience the unpredictable mind of Kenji Eno, founder of the dearly departed developer Warp. Never heard of Warp? I wouldn’t be surprised. Their reputation has faded into nothing more than a piece of video game trivia¬† from the mid-to-late 1990s. An esoteric Japanese game developer, Warp was helmed by Eno and taken in some rather interesting directions. Their first stateside release was Puyo Puyo rip-off Trip’d on the 3DO, which I guarantee no one here has heard of or played. Their second, however, was D.