Archive for the ‘Grand Theft Auto 4’ Category

2008 Round-Up Review – Kept You Waiting, Huh

March 9, 2009

2008 was nowhere near as stellar a year for movies as 2007, but any year without There Will Be Blood, No Country, Michael Clayton, The Mist and a new Ghost in the Shell movie will suffer.

BUT. 2008 was one helluva year for genre film. Probably the best since 1999 or 1982. Those years gave us The Matrix, Iron Giant, Blade Runner, Wrath of Khan… y’know. Classics. 2008 has some serious future classics as well.

First let’s go backwards. The worst of the lot:

Worst Movies:

Rambo – In my review I wondered if I would ever warm up to this big stupid, bloody gore-stravaganza. I’ve liked dumber movies. And well, I kinda did warm up to it. Not a whole lot, mind you! It’s no great piece of art by any means but it’s worth seeing for… for… for the carnage. Yes. That’s it. It’s almost… cathartic? Is that cliche? Well, then, it fits. For a movie so full of cliche – bad guys kill good people, good guys kill bad guys – it executes every single one of them visceral aplomb. Recently, in the comments section I defend Stallone as someone who knows exactly how to pander to a sick, depraved audience. Genius or not, he knows what he’s doing. Just look at who he’s casting in his next movie, The Expendables. Mickey Rourke, Dolph Lundgren, Forest Whitaker, Jason Statham, Jet Li, ARNOLD … Bastard’s got my money again.

Quantum of Solace – I warmed up to Rambo’s idiocy, but I grew even colder towards James Bond’s latest escapade. I actively hate Quantum of Solace more and more with each passing day, my thoughts coalescing into a ball of climactic hotel-destroying fury. A misfire in every possible way. Dull villain, wafer-thin plot, pointless Bond girls – a boring Bond. Way to squander that reboot, fellas. Can’t believe ya did, but ya did. At least there’s still Bourne.

Pineapple Express – Hey, we got a weekend, some weed and woods in the backyard. Let’s make a movie!

Harold and Kumar 2 – Poop poop poop poop poop poop outdated George Bush jokes poop poop poop poop poop celebrity cameo poop poop poop poop poop. $10.75 please.

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Grand Theft Auto 4 – Death of the Dream

June 23, 2008

GTA4 is a game you have to spend a lot (a lot!) of time with. Rockstar built a big, impressive approximation of New York City that’s a joy to cruise around in with your top down, at night, Jazz Nation Radio cooing Chet Baker or Miles Davis softly through your speakers. Or R. Kelly, or Stevie Nicks, or David Bowie. Ah, I didn’t like the radio selections at first but they grew on me except, uh, the Puerto Rican rap station. C’mon, how many rap stations does a GTA game need? Anyway, there’s a lot to see and a lot to do, stuff I didn’t try to discover yet. The game’s been out a while now so you probably know what I’m talking about. I’ll try not to regurgitate the billions of other GTA4 opinions out there … instead I’ll address the numerous hyperbolic exultations of the game’s brilliant plot and flawless gameplay.

Dees wheel hurrt a leetle

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