Archive for the ‘introduction’ Category

One Year Grumpiversary

April 23, 2008

In honor of their first year online Tim and John watch Mortal Kombat: Annihilation with running commentary:

sirtmagus: ok stinkfist
sirtmagus: I’m READY when you are
JohnnyMora: now i’m not ready
JohnnyMora: JUST KIDDING
sirtmagus: \:[
JohnnyMora: gooooo
sirtmagus: LOADING
sirtmagus: LOOOOOOOOOOOOAD
JohnnyMora: I’m 9 seconds in
sirtmagus: OK ME TOO
sirtmagus: GO GO GO
JohnnyMora: This fucking techno song
sirtmagus: Fuck yooou, New Line.
JohnnyMora: It’s like the generic techno song
JohnnyMora: How did MK get this song?
sirtmagus: It is. It IS the techno song.
sirtmagus: *THE techno song.
JohnnyMora: Is it originally theirs? Did they adapt it? The world may never care.
JohnnyMora: OH WHOA THAT TITLE
JohnnyMora: IS IN MY FACE
sirtmagus: oh wow
JohnnyMora: Like this movie respects Buddhism in the least.
sirtmagus: What a cheap recap.
JohnnyMora: What a cheap recap of a cheap movie.
JohnnyMora: BOOMING VOICEOVER
JohnnyMora: OF WHOEVER
JohnnyMora: Oh god.
JohnnyMora: These effects. Were we ever impressed?
sirtmagus: In 1995 I might have been. A tiny bit. But that was the first movie.
sirtmagus: I knew this was crap when I first rented it.
JohnnyMora: Here’s a bit of embarrassing trivia.
JohnnyMora: I willin–oh god
sirtmagus: WHOA ERMAC
JohnnyMora: Motaro just derailed my train of thought.
JohnnyMora: GO AWAY NEW RAIDEN
sirtmagus: Well that’s obviously not Christopher Lambert.
sirtmagus: You know you’re in trouble when RUSSEL NASH says no to your movie.
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The 3rd Guest Arrives

May 7, 2007

Box Art

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Although this is mostly a game review, I’m going to stick a little introduction here at the beginning. I’m Brian Vacek, a guest-contributer for Grump Factory and associate by way of friendship and my own film blog: The Film Walrus. You won’t see any of my film reviews here, although you’ll likely see some cinematic repartee between Tim, John and myself. I’ll be doing the odd game review and other pop culture commentary to help the factory meet its quarterly grump quota. To continue an analogy made in John’s introduction, if Tim is the bad cop and John the good cop, I guess I’m the grim third cop behind the one-way mirror, analyzing the suspect’s expression and hurriedly scratching down some notes.

 

So what game will I be reviewing as my debut? The 7th Guest. Yup. The one on the PC from 1992. I know some of you know what I’m talking about because more than 2 million people bought the game. Well I just got around to playing it. Don’t ask, but it involves E-bay and my girlfriend.

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A History of Vehemence

April 20, 2007

A peculiar thing happened to me this week.

But first, let’s travel through time.

To 2005. A lousy year if my memory’s correct, and I’m sure it is, because Crash won the Oscar that year. What an atrocious show. Five-Six Mafia won, Jon Stewart was fumbling, and uh, honestly, nothing else noteworthy comes to mind right now, but that’s okay, that all sucked. 2005 was really the year Batman Begins came out.

Now, I love my genre flicks. Horror, action, sci-fi, adventure, uh… action/sci-fi/adventure… when they’re good there’s nothing better on Earth! When they come packaged in nostalgic superhero tights like Batman’s, whose 1992 animated series practically raised me (though mom and dad did a good job too – more on that soon), there’s a euphoria in me so intense reality peels away, and I’m swooping off rooftops alongside TAS’ Kevin Conroy and Begins‘ Christian Bale.

Batman Begins was a production I followed not closely, obsessively, with my friends, fellow Bat-fans, for years, back when Darren Aranofsky was on board to direct, when Wolfgang Petersen was set to do a World’s Finest mash-up, way back in… cripes, way back in high school. When Christopher Nolan took over… it was too fucking perfect! Would he get Guy Pearce to play an obsessive vigilante again? Batman, Memento-style?! Could something that brilliant possibly happen? When American Psycho Christian Bale was cast we rushed to rent Equilibrium to see if he was worthy of the cape and cowl. Absolutely worthy. When the rest of the cast was announced… all those names, all that talent… Roy Batty himself! Nolan screened BLADE RUNNER to the cast and crew and said “We’re going to do Batman this way.” …It was unbelievable news. Too good to be true.

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Your Maitre d’

April 20, 2007

I promised it and here it is. Your host, displayed before you. My name’s John Mora and I’m a 22 year old psychology major graduating this spring from the University of Akron. I started this blog because of the reasons previously stated, and also to keep pace with my friend at http://filmwalrus.blogspot.com/. I highly encourage you check him out, too. Intelligent guy with a great breadth of coverage in film.

Because you’ll be spending time with me and my opinions, I thought I’d lay out some of my likes so you know what I’ll be periodically slobbering all over in my posts:

Movies: American Beauty, Kill Bill, The Goonies

Games: The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, Metal Gear series, Chrono Cross

Music: Yoko Kanno, Radiohead, Beck, Bjork

Comics: Fables, Gargoyles, Watchmen

Anime: Ghost in the Shell Stand Alone Complex, Cowboy Bebop, Evangelion, Spirited Away

Manga: PLANETES, Death Note, Fullmetal Alchemist

Television: Battlestar Galactica (2003), Lost, The Colbert Report, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Seasons 1-5), Angel (except Season 3)

You can see I have a soft spot for sci-fi and genre in general. What can I say? It makes things interesting for me. My taste in anime tends towards the more serious series, and I generally prefer series with designs I find attractive and with animation that’s of high quality, but I can sometimes find an exception.

I’m currently playing: Okami (PS2), Super Mario World (GBA), Kirby’s Adventure (NES), Rule of Rose (PS2), Lumines II (PSP), Valkyrie Profile: Lenneth (PSP), Metal Gear: Portable Ops (PSP)

Currently watching: Lost, X (TV), The Colbert Report, Ergo Proxy, Coyote Ragtime Show, Kemonozume, The Vision of Escaflowne (TV), Darker than BLACK… and many others that pass before my eyes, but don’t consider myself to be actively watching (e.g. Pumpkin Scissors)

Currently listening to: Radiohead (Hail to the Thief), Yoko Kanno (Elegant World OST)

Between Tim and I, I think I’m usually the “good cop”, so that’ll probably show in the differences between our views on things. Anyways, my entertainment profile in a nutshell. Discuss.

Flipping the Switch

April 20, 2007

Hello there, and welcome to the grand opening of Grump Factory, a blog started by Tim and I to have an outlet for the type of opinions on entertainment that we feel are sorely lacking in number these days.

Frankly, too many people like too much mediocre/terrible crap. There just don’t seem to be any standards people use when watching movies, listening to music or playing games. Every new movie they see is their new favorite movie, etc. Happy Feet becomes a box office smash. Brett Ratner continues to get work.

Enough is enough, we say. Don’t stand for bad entertainment! Be harsh! Be critical! Be a grump! We hope that by making this blog, we can encourage people to look at the generic, boring crap Hollywood and video game publisher/evil empire Electronic Arts pour into the slop bucket of American consumption with a skeptical eye. There’s nothing wrong with being a grump, I say. We need a nation of grumps who won’t be satisfied by being pandered to like a lowest common denominator.

As for the content of our blog, we plan to cover a variety of subjects that are of interest to us. Movies, video games and anime are sure to be common sights on this blog, but don’t be surprised if manga, comic books, television or music pop up now and again, as well. Basically, there are no hard and fast rules for the content we post here; whatever captures our fancy/ire at the moment.

While we will be posting quite a few reviews, please note that we will not be including grades or scores out of ten or anything like that with these. We both agree that tacking a number or letter grade to a review does more harm than good. Usually, people tend to just zero in on whatever rating a person gives in a review and doesn’t pay much attention to the meat and potatoes of the discussion. We’d rather people focus on the content and context of our posts rather than whatever arbitrary value we attribute to something.

Also, we’ll nitpick. If you hate it when people nitpick, we will annoy you to no end. But we think this is healthy and nitpicking even a movie you love isn’t really a bad thing. If you have issue with an opinion either of us has on a subject, don’t feel you can’t bring it up with us. We encourage active and robust discussion! Also if you simply must gush to us about how awesome we are, that’s cool, too.

Posts will be forthcoming detailing the contributors to Grump Factory, as well as one or two pre-made posts on a few different subjects. I hope to keep you engaged as a reader! Grump responsibly!