Archive for the ‘Metal Gear Solid 4’ Category

2008 Round-Up Review – Kept You Waiting, Huh

March 9, 2009

2008 was nowhere near as stellar a year for movies as 2007, but any year without There Will Be Blood, No Country, Michael Clayton, The Mist and a new Ghost in the Shell movie will suffer.

BUT. 2008 was one helluva year for genre film. Probably the best since 1999 or 1982. Those years gave us The Matrix, Iron Giant, Blade Runner, Wrath of Khan… y’know. Classics. 2008 has some serious future classics as well.

First let’s go backwards. The worst of the lot:

Worst Movies:

Rambo – In my review I wondered if I would ever warm up to this big stupid, bloody gore-stravaganza. I’ve liked dumber movies. And well, I kinda did warm up to it. Not a whole lot, mind you! It’s no great piece of art by any means but it’s worth seeing for… for… for the carnage. Yes. That’s it. It’s almost… cathartic? Is that cliche? Well, then, it fits. For a movie so full of cliche – bad guys kill good people, good guys kill bad guys – it executes every single one of them visceral aplomb. Recently, in the comments section I defend Stallone as someone who knows exactly how to pander to a sick, depraved audience. Genius or not, he knows what he’s doing. Just look at who he’s casting in his next movie, The Expendables. Mickey Rourke, Dolph Lundgren, Forest Whitaker, Jason Statham, Jet Li, ARNOLD … Bastard’s got my money again.

Quantum of Solace – I warmed up to Rambo’s idiocy, but I grew even colder towards James Bond’s latest escapade. I actively hate Quantum of Solace more and more with each passing day, my thoughts coalescing into a ball of climactic hotel-destroying fury. A misfire in every possible way. Dull villain, wafer-thin plot, pointless Bond girls – a boring Bond. Way to squander that reboot, fellas. Can’t believe ya did, but ya did. At least there’s still Bourne.

Pineapple Express – Hey, we got a weekend, some weed and woods in the backyard. Let’s make a movie!

Harold and Kumar 2 – Poop poop poop poop poop poop outdated George Bush jokes poop poop poop poop poop celebrity cameo poop poop poop poop poop. $10.75 please.


Metal Gear Solid 4: WTFs of the Patriots

June 19, 2008

SPOILER ALERT: This discussion makes no attempt to avoid plot spoilers. It’s highly recommended that you completely finish Metal Gear Solid 4 before continuing if you wish to remain unspoiled
JohnnyMora: So. Metal Gear Solid FUCKIN’ 4.
sirtmagus: So what did you think when you first put it in? That Blu-ray disc. That big, fat double-layered Blu-ray game that won’t ever get on Xbox 360…
JohnnyMora: Oh gosh.
JohnnyMora: Should I go into what I had to GO THROUGH to get it?
JohnnyMora: The most AWFUL midnight launch ever?
JohnnyMora: With the awful Mexican ex-gangbanger who loves Jesus now and thinks that the Freemasons are gonna end the world in 2012?
sirtmagus: Maybe his nanomachines were going haywire.
JohnnyMora: Because that was an awful way to start things. >:c
JohnnyMora: HONESTLY.
JohnnyMora: Maybe it was just Mantis toying with me!
JohnnyMora: But I felt GREAT opening my LIMITED EDITION box!
JohnnyMora: So heavy and cool to the touch~
JohnnyMora: I don’t know why the temperature of the stupid box got me excited, but it did.
JohnnyMora: Still does!
JohnnyMora: And I was. so. excited!