Archive for the ‘WALL-E’ Category

2008 Round-Up Review – Kept You Waiting, Huh

March 9, 2009

2008 was nowhere near as stellar a year for movies as 2007, but any year without There Will Be Blood, No Country, Michael Clayton, The Mist and a new Ghost in the Shell movie will suffer.

BUT. 2008 was one helluva year for genre film. Probably the best since 1999 or 1982. Those years gave us The Matrix, Iron Giant, Blade Runner, Wrath of Khan… y’know. Classics. 2008 has some serious future classics as well.

First let’s go backwards. The worst of the lot:

Worst Movies:

Rambo – In my review I wondered if I would ever warm up to this big stupid, bloody gore-stravaganza. I’ve liked dumber movies. And well, I kinda did warm up to it. Not a whole lot, mind you! It’s no great piece of art by any means but it’s worth seeing for… for… for the carnage. Yes. That’s it. It’s almost… cathartic? Is that cliche? Well, then, it fits. For a movie so full of cliche – bad guys kill good people, good guys kill bad guys – it executes every single one of them visceral aplomb. Recently, in the comments section I defend Stallone as someone who knows exactly how to pander to a sick, depraved audience. Genius or not, he knows what he’s doing. Just look at who he’s casting in his next movie, The Expendables. Mickey Rourke, Dolph Lundgren, Forest Whitaker, Jason Statham, Jet Li, ARNOLD … Bastard’s got my money again.

Quantum of Solace – I warmed up to Rambo’s idiocy, but I grew even colder towards James Bond’s latest escapade. I actively hate Quantum of Solace more and more with each passing day, my thoughts coalescing into a ball of climactic hotel-destroying fury. A misfire in every possible way. Dull villain, wafer-thin plot, pointless Bond girls – a boring Bond. Way to squander that reboot, fellas. Can’t believe ya did, but ya did. At least there’s still Bourne.

Pineapple Express – Hey, we got a weekend, some weed and woods in the backyard. Let’s make a movie!

Harold and Kumar 2 – Poop poop poop poop poop poop outdated George Bush jokes poop poop poop poop poop celebrity cameo poop poop poop poop poop. $10.75 please.

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Grump Alert: Hollywood Doesn’t Care About Good Movies

February 4, 2009

This post could easily be more Oscar nomination grousing, but no, I’m over that. Mostly.

No, instead, this is about some other awards ceremony: the Annies. It’s a ceremony that rewards animated features and shorts. With the strong showing in that field this year thanks to WALL-E, you’d think PIXAR would be cleaning up the awards, right?

WRONG, WALL-E GOT COMPLETELY SHUT OUT.

Now, this in itself isn’t what burns my biscuit. I could understand if it just got pushed out of the way for a dark horse candidate like, say, Waltz for Bashir. But that isn’t what happened. WALL-E lost out to Kung-Fu Panda, which won 15 of the 24 categories.

Now, I have nothing personal against Kung-Fu Panda. It was entertaining! A step in the right direction for Dreamworks! But is it better than WALL-E? Never. If I ever meet a person in real life insinuate something even close to that, I will look them in the eye, clench my jaw and give them a slap that Daniel Plainview would wince at.

And that’s not even the only disgrace in this. JAR JAR BINKS got an Annie and WALL-E didn’t. What the fucking hell?! There’s… there’s no justice. 2009’s awards shows can kiss my ass.

(grumplet) WALL-E: Domo Arigatou, Pixar~

July 2, 2008

Hey! Hey, guys! WALL-E is here! HOORAY!

THE GRUMPS ARE ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE

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